How old were you when you first had sexual intercourse?
Well, that’s an awkward question. And it’s one that I don’t have an answer for. Because I can’t see the future.
Kids, I’ve never even really kissed a girl. Sex has never even been on the table. Or anywhere else for that matter. (Cue the audience laughter)
Look, I’m pretty much okay with the fact that I can still be labeled a virgin. Call it a puritanical attitude if you want, but I grew up in church where I was taught that sex is the kind of thing that’s best saved for marriage. And since I’m not married…
If I were to find myself in a relationship with a woman I loved and we just weren’t at the stage where we were ready to get married, I’m sure the temptation would be there to have the sex. And I honestly can’t say whether I would or would not give in. I mean, from what I’m given to understand, it seems like a pretty swell time. I just can’t speak from experience.
I’m not ashamed of the fact that I’m 38 years old and have never had sex. It’s really okay. Waiting until I’m married was one of those things I made a decision about when I was a teenager. On the one hand, I don’t know what I’m missing. I mean, I do… But since I’ve never experienced the physical act itself, it’s not like I can say I did it once and loved it and now I can’t wait to do it again. It’s not something that’s on my mind. And when a reminder of the status of my virginity comes along (like this question), I just think, “meh…”
Now, if I were a gambling man, I’d wager than in a little over a year, I’ll be starring in my own personal version of The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Mine probably won’t be as funny as the Steve Carrell movie.
This is the part where I usually invite you to answer the question in the comments. But it really won’t hurt my feelings if no one responds this week. Because, as I said a the top, this is an awkward question. That’s not to say I’ll turn away your answers if you give them. Just… you know… keep it clean.
*The Question of the Week can be found in The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.
Don’t worry, not going to answer your question of the week personally ha, but I couldn’t resist on telling you how much I loved the honesty and humor on this post, especially on what most would consider a sensitive subject! You handled the question better than me..I’ve been married almost 9 years and I’d prefer my mom (who lives with my husband and I) still think I’m a Virgin..that’s how awkward I’d be with the subject! Lol I chose to wait for marriage for the same reasons you explained, and just as you hinted at the temptation was there (and won) before we got married.
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Haha… I guess considering family having sex is weird all around. I’d really only like to acknowledge that my parents only had sex twice, accounting for me and my sister.
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Oh I never thought about that in reverse in regards to my parents…sigh. I just found the subject for next weeks therapy appointment hahaha
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Sorry to stir that up… As a counselor, I’m qualified to ask how that makes you feel.
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Well you can find my answer on my blog if you really want to, but its not a good story.
Here’s another question (feel free not to answer): if you met the perfect woman and you were thinking about marriage, what would be your feelings if she were not a virgin? Or is that a standard you hold when determining potential mates?
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Personally, I don’t care. If I fall in love with someone, all I care about is the present and whatever future we have together holds. To me, her past wouldn’t matter just as, I would hope, my past wouldn’t matter to her. Also, if she does have experience, maybe she can show me the ropes. I’m sure, when/if the time comes, I’m gonna be real intimidated. But, no, I don’t hold anyone to any kind of standard. Not my place.
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I think I like you even more. 😊 Is that strange?
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A little… I’m not very likable 😉
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*high five for classic Christian values*
This is an issue I’ve written about in my blog too. I’m likeminded in that I’m still a virgin and I’m actually proud of it. I like the fact that I don’t have to get tested when entering into a romantic relationship with a guy. Although the dating scene of being 31 and a virgin does bring up lots of questions. I don’t mind dating someone who isn’t a Christian as long as they respect my values and beliefs. I’ve gotten pretty good at being able to determine which guys will be ok with a non-sexual relationship and the ones who say they will but actually won’t.
But just to be different, I’m ok with not waiting until marriage. Like if I’m with the person I know I’m going to marry but we just aren’t married yet – that’s ok.
But if I do have one more guy tell me that Jesus would be ok with me giving him a blow job – I’m gonna slap him lol like actually meet up with him and slap him.
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First of all, thank you for the honesty… You could have skipped the question and no one would known. Personally, I am very open about the topic… And I will answer. So: My first kiss happened a week before my 14th birthday. My first sexual intercourse happened when I was 17 and it was with the man I married, and to whom I am still married today. Next week is our 19th anniversary – married for 11 years. (And I am 35 for another month… just if you like numbers and maths, lol).
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Happy early anniversary!
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Thank you very much.
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