Question of the Week #291

If a very close friend learned she had incurable cancer and only 6 months to live, would you withdraw or try to spend more time with her?

If she’s really a very close friend, why on earth would I withdraw? I mean… I guess I can understand why some people would. It’s going to hurt when this friend passes away, sure. For some, I guess the thought is that if you cut yourself off from that person now, it won’t hurt as bad later… because you’ve basically already said good-bye.

Look, I’m sorry if that’s how some people would handle it. But to me, that’s a selfish way to be. This “very close friend” is going to need all the support she can get for the next six months. Depriving her of that simply because you don’t want to feel the pain of saying good-bye is just selfish.

So yes, I’d want to spend more time with this person and be there for her in any way she needed. If that means she pushes me away, that’s fine, too. I’d try to respect those wishes, but I’d still want to check in to see if she needed anything.

But what would you do? Are you the type to pull away or would you try to stay close in your friend’s final days? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments!

*The Question of the Week can be found in The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.


6 thoughts on “Question of the Week #291

  1. So in a less terminal scenario I would be the person to withdraw.. I hate goodbyes when I’m not in control or not in my own terms.. But this kind of only applies to relationships.. Friendships oh yes id be here all the way to the very end no matter how heartbreaking! How could you not if they’re your closest friend? Couldn’t bare to imagine how it would be to feel abandoned if the shoe were on the other foot!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think I’m with the rest of the lovely commenters here and say that I would also want to spend as much time with the person as possible. I’m with you on the fact that they will need the support and if they chose to push me away then that is their choice and I can’t really change that. But I would want to be as much of a support, even one they could push away and then come back to at a later time.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Question of the Week #292 | The Confusing Middle

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