If you knew it would completely estrange you from your friends and family, would you follow your heart and marry a person you loved?
Yes.
I mean… if friends and family are rightly warning me that the person I love is also secretly a super-villain bent on global destruction and/or domination, I would hope I would listen to their wise council before plunging headfirst into marriage with this woman. But I like to think I’m a pretty good judge of character, so I’m fairly certain I’d be able to figure all of that out.
Although, I have known people who were warned about their toxic partners prior to saying those vows and they wouldn’t listen. Blinded by their emotions.
I think that’s why it’s so important to remember that love is more than emotion. Feelings are fickle and constantly change. If married people rely solely on what they feel for each other, then the divorce rate would be way higher than 50%. As it is, a lot of that 50% probably rely on their feelings to determine whether or not to remain married. Anyway, if I were to ever get married, it would be a decision based on more than just how I feel about this woman.
And if my friends and family don’t like it, I’m sure they have reasons. And if they can calmly and logically explain their position to me, I will listen. But I will ultimately do what I think is right, even if that means the loss of some of those relationships.
But what about you? Would you alienate your family and friends in the name of love? Let me know down in the comments!
*The Question of the Week can be found in The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.
The Confusing Middle 
For me it would depend on what reasons they had. You’re 100% correct that emotions are fickle and rose coloured glasses and all that. But if my dad and/or brother had serious concerns I would listen. Its sad to say that my mom doesn’t get a vote. She can voice her opinion but it would not be considered. But my dad for sure once he knew about the person (which would honestly be after we had been serious for a while) or my brother (who would know from the first “oh my gosh I have a date!!!!”) if either of them had concerns I’d listen. But I am also a stubborn person and it would probably just push me towards this love more 😂😂😂 who knows!
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I sort of did that with my last husband. But, my family didn’t really know him to raise their objections. I do what I believe in my life..not saying I won’t listen, but ultimately it’s about me..Not family or outsiders.
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It’s strange how 50% of all marriages end in divorce. What’s even stranger is that people actually voluntarily and consciously chose their partner. The statement “Feelings are fickle and constantly change” couldn’t be any truer.
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My immediate response was, “heck yeah, screw them!” but then I remembered I am a terrible judge of character and have been in unhealthy relationships in the past. However, no one in my family knows me well enough and are often judgy and pushy, so I would probably double down if I knew they didn’t like a person. If a friend said something, though, I would listen. Since I know I am bad at relationshipping, any advice from someone who knows me would be appreciated.
Not to mention, cutting a person off from friends and family is a common tactic of abusive/manipulative people.
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