While arguing with a close friend on the telephone, she gets angry and hangs up. Assuming she is at fault and makes no attempt to contact you, how long would you wait to get in touch with her?
I feel like there are a ton of variables to this… a lot of what ifs…
First of all, how close are we, really? That would definitely play into my willingness to reach out and patch things up. But the bigger issue is, is she really at fault? Or am I just assuming she’s at fault? We all know what happens when we assume. Sometimes we end up being wrong.
But if she and I really that close and if she really is in the wrong, I would want to reach out and make sure there’s no permanent damage done to the friendship. Because, wrong or not, when you get into an argument with someone you love, sometimes the best thing you can possibly do is hang up the phone or walk away. Give each other time to cool down. Maybe that will lead to an opportunity to calmly discuss what you were arguing about later… maybe it will lead to an understanding that it’s just something you aren’t able to talk about right now.
There’s no right answer for how long I would wait to try and get in touch. Again… a lot of variables… but you have to learn to be a good judge of how long you each need to cool down after a fight.
What about you? Are you willing to suck it up and mend bridges when someone you care about is in the wrong? Let me know in the comments below!
*The Question of the Week can be found in The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.
2 thoughts on “Question of the Week #151”
This definitely depends on how close the relationship is, and if this is the first, or twentieth time it’s happened. I can’t go more than a day being angry with those I’m really close with…usually an hour or so goes by and I’m trying to reach out again.
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One of the important things we need to remember is that what we do and say always makes sense to us, though it may not necessarily make sense to others. So, in that sense, I believe that whether we are right or wrong, an argument if broken on a wrong note, should be left alone for a while so that both the parties can cool down on their own and approach the subject without ego or judgement. This I believe is crucial, even when the argument is between very close people. Great post. Love the way you blog. God bless! 🙂
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