The Murtaugh List

I was always a fan of How I Met Your Mother. It’s a show that introduced me to a lot of heartfelt and hilarious concepts: the blue french horn, the slap bet, Robin Sparkles, and the Murtaugh List. The name Murtaugh comes from the character played by Danny Glover in the Lethal Weapon series of films. Detective Murtaugh’s signature line was “I’m getting too old for this stuff.” Well, he says “stuff” in the TV edit.Murtaugh ListThe Murtaugh List is a list of activities that the characters from HIMYM were getting too old for. In recent years, I’ve experienced some activities that I now feel I’m getting too old for. While I can hope that the following list is definitive, I have a feeling it will be an ever expanding thing.

  1. Midnight Movies – When Man of Steel was released, I went to see it at midnight. It was a Thursday night. This meant that I needed to be at work the next morning at 8:30. I’m not sure how much sleep I got after I got home from the movie. But I know it was well after 3am when I hit the bed. I’m getting too old for this stuff.
  2. Eating After Midnight – Whenever I eat something late at night, especially if it’s something fried, it isn’t a good thing. I’m not entirely sure, but I think I turn into a little big-eared monster that likes to destroy things. I’m getting way too old for this stuff.Murtaugh List - Gremlin
  3. Strenuous Activity Involving Small Children – Ironic, since I’m holding down two jobs that require me to work closely with small children. Thing is, I’m out of shape. I’m not sure I’ve ever been in great shape, but 10 years ago I was in pretty decent shape. Now I’m older and I find that it’s difficult to breathe when chasing kids. Also, it’s easier to pull muscles and twist joints. Things pop that didn’t used to pop. I’m a little concerned. I’m definitely getting too old for this stuff.
  4. Roller Skating – For my 33rd birthday, I invited people to join me at a local skating rink. The draw was that this place also had laser tag, which was just exhausting. But the skating presented all kinds of new problems. It’s like I forgot how to use my legs properly. When I was a kid I could skate pretty well. I wasn’t trying to win a competition or anything, but I could do it without falling. No more. I didn’t fall during that particular birthday outing, but I may as well have. The next day I could barely move.
  5. Spicy Food – I’ve never been a big fan of the spicy food. Even when I was young enough to properly digest it. But these days, the few spicy items that I did enjoy in my younger days have a tendency to tear me apart. I’ll spare you the further details.

At the moment that’s all I can think of. But, as I said before, I’m sure it’ll be a growing list.

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5 thoughts on “The Murtaugh List

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