I'm sure by now most of you have heard the Christmas classic "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." I say classic because the song is nearly 60 years old. I don't call it a classic because I enjoy hearing it year after year. I find it to be obnoxious. And irritating. And extremely catchy. Which … Continue reading The Hazards of Having a Hippopotamus for Christmas
humor
The 5 Annoyances of Christmas
I know. You just read that title and thought, "This guy's such a Grinch!" But I'm really not. I love Christmas. I might not get as into the holiday spirit as a lot of people do, but I certainly don't sit around thinking of ways to ruin Christmas for everyone around me. There are just … Continue reading The 5 Annoyances of Christmas
How to Know if I Have a Crush on You
I'm single. Have been all my life. Beyond that, I'm an introverted single person. That makes it extremely difficult for me to approach a woman to whom I'm attracted in order to generate a conversation out of thin air. Therefore, all I ever really experience are crushes. You know, like a kid will have on … Continue reading How to Know if I Have a Crush on You
A Dater’s Guide to Disney Princesses: Rapunzel
Poor girl... She lived a sheltered life until she was 18. She was locked away in a tower for "her own good." The woman that raised her kept her away from the world because it wouldn't be safe for her if people knew about the magical properties that her hair possessed. The truth of the … Continue reading A Dater’s Guide to Disney Princesses: Rapunzel
4 Things You Shouldn’t Do at the Drive-Thru
The drive-thru lane is something that, I'm fairly confident, I can speak about with some authority. After all, I did spend four years of my adult life working as a drive-thru bank teller. There are just certain things that a person who is taking the drive-thru lane should not do. But this isn't about the … Continue reading 4 Things You Shouldn’t Do at the Drive-Thru
Luscious
"This isn't really my kind of place!" yelled Leigh over the noise of the crowd. Christine just shook her head. "That's why we're here! Time for you to get out more!" Leigh sat at the bar and absentmindedly stirred her drink. Exams were over and Christine had talked her into going out to celebrate the … Continue reading Luscious
Big Head! Big Head! Big Head!
No, I'm not talking about my ego. I have a fairly large cranium. I know there are people out there with bigger heads. I've seen people out there with bigger heads. But in the scheme of things, I can't imagine there are many. I should probably go to a doctor and have them measure the … Continue reading Big Head! Big Head! Big Head!
Degenerative
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm dying. I know that this news may come as a shock to many of you. It's really sad. I may have as few as 50 or 60 years left. The truth is, I suffer from a degenerative condition that so many people deal with every day. It's called aging. It's a … Continue reading Degenerative
Kids Say the Darnedest Things
Throughout my work as a school counselor, I liked to post Facebook status updates which were not actually status updates at all. Instead, they were quotes from the kids I worked with at the elementary school on a daily basis. Some of them are a priceless kind of hilarious. Others are probably only funny to … Continue reading Kids Say the Darnedest Things
The Wedding Party
This blog post is a pitch for a TV show and I'm pretty sure it would be an enormous hit that would make me millions of dollars. Probably. Actually, it probably wouldn't. Because even if this is an original idea, someone with more connections could see this and claim that they had the idea first … Continue reading The Wedding Party
The Confusing Middle 