This blog post is a pitch for a TV show and I’m pretty sure it would be an enormous hit that would make me millions of dollars. Probably. Actually, it probably wouldn’t. Because even if this is an original idea, someone with more connections could see this and claim that they had the idea first and then I’ll just be sitting at home watching commercials for the show thinking, I’m pretty sure that was my idea. It’ll be Netflix all over again.

I digress. I said I would watch the commercials and lament my stolen idea. That’s because I wouldn’t actually watch the show. Thing is, I don’t watch the show on which this idea is based. Hang on, I’ll get there.

The idea is for a new spin-off of The Bachelor. It could be called The Best Man. You could have one that spins out of The Bachelorette and call it The Maid of Honor. Or, if you just wanted to combine the two and create one new series, just have it be The Wedding Party.

Now, I’ve seen a grand total of two episodes of The Bachelor and/or its various spin-offs. That is an exact figure, not an exaggeration. And in those two episodes, I’ve noticed that the people on those shows are supremely stupid. Maybe they’re acting. Maybe they’re not. I don’t care. Because people love to watch them. They love to watch the drama unfold as a man or woman dates a dozen people at the same time. How we’re all okay with this, I’ll never understand.Anyway, I generally assume that each of these series wraps up their final episode with a faux proposal, a director yelling cut, and then a bachelor and bachelorette high fiving and saying something to the effect of, “good hustle out there!” before climbing into a limo and driving off into a life of tabloid fame and above average income. But, maybe that’s just the cynic in me who has been conditioned to take everything he sees on television with a grain of salt and views “reality TV” as just the opposite.

Maybe, just maybe, there are couples who meet on these shows and actually fall in love. Maybe their televised marriage proposals stick and wedding plans begin. That’s where this spin-off would come in. Make the choosing of the wedding party a new competition.

I’m thinking that this one would be a little more competitive than The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. You could make competitions out of catching the bouquet or intercepting drunk wedding guests or an endurance competition where they have to stand at the front of a church in formal attire while a monotonous voice drones on about love and commitment and how rings symbolize infinity for as long as possible. I don’t know, I feel like that’s something that the producers can figure out when the time comes.

But can’t you just picture a bachelorette saying to one of the contestants that makes it to the next round, “Will you accept this bouquet?”