The drive-thru lane is something that, I’m fairly confident, I can speak about with some authority. After all, I did spend four years of my adult life working as a drive-thru bank teller. There are just certain things that a person who is taking the drive-thru lane should not do. But this isn’t about the drive-thru lane at the bank. That is another list for another time. Come to think of it, I’ve probably already covered that list.

Thankfully, I am no longer in the banking industry. Now, my only experience in the drive-thru is as a customer. And it’s usually at a fast food style of restaurant. Because when I go to the bank, my business is rarely complicated enough to require any human interaction. So, when you’re at the McRestaurant and you’re attempting to place a quick order, remember this list of DON’Ts as you sit behind the wheel of your car.

1. Order food for everyone and their brother – It happens sometimes. You see the guy in the pick-up truck that has stickers and magnets all over it letting you know he represents a local construction company. And this is the guy that drew the short straw and was sent to Hardee’s to pick up breakfast for the whole crew. Dude, the drive-thru is meant for quick orders. It’s not the place for you to order nine different breakfast items for nine different people. Park your truck and walk your butt inside. Ordering everyone’s food at the drive-thru is a jerk move.
2. Be old – This is gonna sound mean. Because I know that the elderly are a quickly growing and vastly underappreciated demographic in our society. I understand that. But I also understand that I’m impatient. And, as mentioned above, the drive-thru is a place for speed. The elderly are not a people who are particularly known for their speed in any given situation. Nor are the particularly adept at understanding the garbled speech that is often experienced via the voice box thingy.
3. Use coupons – Maybe using a coupon at the drive-thru isn’t a horrible idea. But when you’re unsure of what the fine print is referring to on your coupon, you should probably go inside. If you’ve made it clear to the lady taking your order that you have a coupon and she seems unable to understand what it is, you should probably go inside. If you’ve come to an agreement that you’re using this magical coupon and the lady taking your order reads off your final total and you have a problem with the number she gave you, you should probably go inside. The drive-thru PA is not the place to have a heated argument about whether or not they deducted 50 cents from your total.
4. Pay with loose change – I’ll be honest, I don’t pay for things with cash very often. That handy piece of plastic that the bank gave me that’s attached to my checking account is wicked convenient. But I don’t have a problem with using cash to pay for things. I have no problem with anyone using cash to pay for things. And I truly love having exact change when I pay for things. But that also means I’ve got paper money up until the point where there is only change left. If you’re paying for your food with handfuls, plural, of loose coins, you really should have gone inside. I don’t care if your order only came to $3.65. If you’re handing over a sackful of nickels and dimes, you are using money incorrectly.

Remember, the above list is one of DON’Ts. Do not do those things when you are at the drive-thru. Have you made any observations at the drive-thru? Are there things that you think people shouldn’t be doing when they’re waiting for their McNuggets? Let me know in the comments!