What was your best experience with drugs or alcohol? Your worst?
Honestly, I’ve never had a lot of exposure to drugs or alcohol.
Sure, alcohol is readily available everywhere I turn. I mean, I live right next door to a brewery that has no fewer than 11 original brews on tap any time their doors are open. But I’m really not much of a drinker. Not that I have a problem with drinking alcohol. I mostly just don’t like the taste of it. And it’s expensive. I’ve got better things to waste my money on.
I will, however, share my best experience with alcohol. I was about to say it’s my only experience with alcohol, but that’s not really true. I suppose any time I’ve had a drink is an experience with alcohol. But those mostly just amount to one or two drinks here and there in social settings or with meals. The story I’m about to share all started with a going away party.
This was back when I was working as a drive-thru bank teller for a little banking institution that will remain nameless and will henceforth be referred to as the Evil Empire. As much as I hated my job, I had some pretty awesome coworkers who either shared or, at least, understood my hatred of the job. When it came time for me to leave my position, those coworkers were sad to see me go.
I had accepted a promotion of sorts. One that would take me away from the gang down in Raleigh but keeping me within the Evil Empire and moving me back home to Virginia. So those coworkers threw me a going away party on the evening following my final day of work in the dreaded drive-thru.
Once our work day was over, we all made our way to the assistant manager’s condo, which wasn’t too far from our branch of the Evil Empire. He had signed out time in his condo’s community room for us to have this party. There was a pool table and pizza and balloons… and Jell-O shots.
Now, our assistant manager was a pretty heavy drinker in those days and he knew that I was not. So before he handed me my very first Jell-O shot (lime… mmm…), he warned me that he made these real strong without actually meaning to. He apologized. I just shrugged my shoulders, grabbed one of the shots, and threw it down. He was right… it was strong.
But in his defense, I had nothing to compare. This was my very first Jell-O shot in my life. I followed it up with seven more.
Here’s the fun part… I never felt a thing. I didn’t get drunk. I didn’t feel a buzz. I felt nothing but normal all night. I decided that my super power must be that I cannot get drunk. I am impervious to the effects of alcohol.
Okay, I don’t actually believe that’s true. Sure, I had eight allegedly “strong” Jell-O shots over the course of about an hour and a half. I also ate two slices of pizza and sipped on a bottle of water, drinking roughly the equivalent of eight or nine ounces. Was that enough food to absorb the alcohol in my system? Was that enough water to keep me hydrated? I don’t know…
The assistant manager was three sheets to the wind on fewer shots than I had. But he was kind enough to let me stay at his place that night so I didn’t have to find a way home. Even though I wasn’t feeling the alcohol didn’t mean it wasn’t in my bloodstream. No way was I taking that chance. What if the effects were just delayed? Wouldn’t want to be on the road when that happened.
Never felt the effects. Didn’t even feel hungover the next morning. I felt great, actually.
I’ve always said I’d be willing to go shot for shot with someone who’s willing to pay and see if this is an actual super power that I really have. The first time could’ve been a fluke. But if it happened again, then it’s a real thing. But I’m not gonna pay for it because, like I said before, this stuff’s expensive. It costs money to try and get drunk. Also… I still don’t like the taste of it.
My only experience with drugs was that same night. After the party, hanging out with a few folks in the assistant manager’s apartment, his then girlfriend offered a hit of her bong. I passed… Because Nancy Reagan told me to say no.
So, yeah… the only drugs I’ve ever experienced are the over-the-counter or prescription kind and only in following the printed directions. Not sure that I’ll even try marijuana when it inevitably becomes legal. Just not my thing.
Wow… that went really long. So enough about me. I’m more interested in hearing what you have to say. What was your best or worst experience involving alcohol and/or drugs? Let me know down in the comments!
*The Question of the Week can be found in The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.