Do you feel you have enough time? If not, what might give you that feeling? As you age, are you becoming less or more concerned about “wasting” time?
It’s funny… sometimes I feel like I have too much time. Which is ridiculous because I have so much that needs to be done. But I think this is a result of my current mood and attitude toward… well… life in general.
I’m extremely unhappy with my professional life and that has been bleeding into everything else. I have lost all motivation to actively do the simplest functions involved with my work. I only carry on so that I can continue to draw a paycheck. In a field where I once genuinely cared about the well-being of the people I serve… I’m just having hard time these days.
Therefore, I have a hard time caring about the peripheral tasks involved with the job. And I put the things off. I mean, sure, I’ve been a procrastinator since way back. But I just don’t want to do things. I don’t want to complete my paperwork. I don’t want to read that book that I started over a month ago. I don’t want to go out to buy groceries. I don’t want to get out of bed to do anything more complicated than close my eyes and go back to sleep.
So I guess I do feel like I’m wasting time. Which, of course, just makes me feel worse about the state I’m in.
Am I depressed? Am I anxious? Yes and yes. And you’d think, working in the field of mental health, I would have plenty of tools to combat those feelings, right? Let’s just say that I’m good at dispensing the “self-care” advice but I’m not so good at taking it to heart myself.
On the plus side, I’m heading out of town next weekend to hang out with the bestest friends of all my friends. And then the 15th anniversary of Dad’s passing is coming up on October 6, so I’m seriously considering taking some kind of personal day. But in taking that time, I know it’s just a short-term fix for my long-term problem.
That problem? I’m not sure I should fully vocalize that on a platform where anyone who knows me could find it and exploit it. Let’s just say I need a change and I need it soon.
Not sure that I actually answered the question but the above rambling was probably necessary for my psychological health. But how would you answer the question? Do you have enough time? Let me know down in the comments!