While on a trip, your spouse spends a night with a stranger. If you knew they’d never meet again and you wouldn’t otherwise find out about it, would you want your partner to tell you? If roles were reversed, would you confess what you’d done? How serious would an affair need to be before you’d want and expect to be told about it? How much do you trust your spouse? How much should they trust you?
Whoa… That’s a lot for a Saturday morning.
Okay. Yes, I would want my spouse to tell me if she had been unfaithful. Because I know that if the shoe was on the other foot and it had been me who spent a night with a stranger, my conscience would not let me keep that to myself. So yeah, I’d want to know.
And assuming it was a one time thing? I could absolutely forgive. I’d be angry for a while and there’s no way I’d forget it. Because if it happened a second time or became a pattern with my spouse, I’m out. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, we’re done.
As for the end of this line of questioning, I’m not married so for me having trust in a spouse is bit of a moo point. I would hope that if I were married that she would someone that I would be able to trust implicitly and that an extra-marital affair would never even be an option for either of us. But people are imperfect and mistakes are made. Which is why I’d be willing to forgive. But I won’t be a doormat.
What about you? There’s a lot to unpack with this week’s questions, so I’m curious how you might respond. Let me know your thoughts down in the comments!
*The Question of the Week can be found in The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.