When you are with your friends, do your interactions include much touching–for example, hugging, kissing, roughhousing, or rubbing backs? Would you like to have more of this?
No. And no.
At least… not as far as I’m concerned. I very much enjoy my personal space. I get uncomfortable when there are crowds full of people I don’t know very well. I get uncomfortable, most of the time, even when those I do know invade my bubble.
I went to college with a guy who would greet his friends in the dining hall by going around the table and giving everyone a quick shoulder rub. That was just his way of saying hi. I cringed every time I saw him coming because I knew exactly what was coming next.
I’m not very touchy-feely… I’m not much of a hugger. I mean, I like the occasional hug… but the occasion really needs to call for it. A friend I haven’t seen in a long time. A friend I’m telling good-bye, knowing I won’t see them for a long time. Family members who insist that hugs are the way to go.
Certainly, things would be different if I were in a relationship and had a significant other. But with friends, in groups, the answer’s just a flat out no.
What about you? Is physical touch a love language in which you’re fluent? Let me know down in the comments!
*The Question of the Week can be found in The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.