If you had the choice of one intimate soulmate and no other close friends, or of no such soulmate and many friends and acquaintances, which would you choose?
If I believed in the idea of soulmates, it would probably be easier to answer this question.
There’s a part of me that really likes this idea of having that one person that you can be close with while ignoring all other potential relationships. But that’s entirely unrealistic. Because no matter how close you are with someone, you simply can’t talk to them about everything. Because sometimes, a part of that everything will include talking about that person.
Example: even if you are the happiest spouse on the planet, your marriage will inevitably fall upon difficult times and you will not agree with your spouse 100% of the time. You’re going to fight. You’re going to argue. And in those moments, you can’t just pull a Sybil and slip into a separate personality and say, “You won’t believe what my wife just did!” You need someone outside your soulmate relationship to talk to. Someone who is a somewhat disinterested third party who can impart impartial wisdom.
At the same time, I don’t want many friends and acquaintances. A fair few will do. Could you imagine trying to keep up with the same amount of friendships in real life as you claim to do on Facebook? Oh, I have 476 friends! And I know all their names, first and last, and each of their birthdays! Please.
But what do you think? Would you rather have that one special soulmate that keeps you locked up in an antisocial world? Or would you rather be everyone’s best friend? Let me know down in the comments!
*The Question of the Week can be found in The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.