Question of the Week #106

Do you usually make a special effort to thank someone who does you a favor? How do you react when you aren’t thanked for going out of your way for someone?

QuestionUsually? Sure. Nothing wrong with saying thank you to someone. There’s nothing to it. But I don’t think that actually takes special effort. So maybe my answer should be no.

It’s not like I sit down and write out a thank you card to everyone who does me a favor. If there’s a special effort involved in whatever they helped me with, then yes, a special effort is warranted. That could mean a thank you card that they receive in the mail. It could mean a meal at a moderately priced restaurant that I’m willing to pay for. It could mean fabulous cash and prizes!

But it probably won’t mean fabulous cash and prizes.

As for not being thanked for doing something for someone else? I don’t care. When I’m helping someone, I’m not doing it for recognition. I’m not doing it to get a thank you or to get credit. I’ll help someone because I want to help someone. Because it’s the right thing to do. It could be argued that thanking someone is the right thing to do, but I’m not going to hold a grudge against someone for not thanking me.

Unless you assume I’m letting you into traffic under the guise of you actually cutting me off. In that case, I will expect a thank you. And you can expect an extremely sarcastic you’re welcome. And possibly some carefully chosen words that, if heard beyond the confines of my own car, could be construed as inappropriate.

I have road rage. I’m man enough to admit it.

What about you? Do you thank others? Are you offended when you unthanked?

*The Question of the Week can be found in The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.

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2 thoughts on “Question of the Week #106

  1. I do everything with my whole heart or not at all. If I don’t like an actor, a product, a political figure, or an everyday person, I don’t pretend to like them. I simply don’t support them in any way, shape, or form. If I do something for someone, it’s because I want to and it’s meaningful for me in the act itself, not because I expect some sort of compensatory reaction.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This question made me think of work- At the moment, I am doing 2 full jobs and leading 3 separate process development groups which take me away from my desk for 4-6 hours every day. Read: I am swamped. Someone from one of my specialty groups knows that I’m currently under water and performed an out-of-the-blue magic trick for me and finished a long, data-driven, yet very important task that I’ve been dragging out because I just don’t have the time to complete it. I can’t even begin to explain how grateful I was that he took care of that task for me. I don’t have the bandwidth to return a favor for him now but I sent an email to his manager and his manager’s supervisor ranting and raving about what he did for me, how much it helped me, and expanded a little and explained how his kind initiative helped our company. He’s now getting a small bump in his March paycheck.

    So yes, if someone does a favor for me, I will certainly thank them proportionately and will return the favor if possible.

    But if someone doesn’t thank me for my effort? Well… Isn’t that the point of being kind and doing something for someone? It’s supposed to be performed selflessly and without expectation of acknowledgement or reciprocation. I know that we’re all human and that we usually expect a little something in return but usually I try not to count all the tits and tats and try not to care if I hear crickets after moving mountains for someone.

    Liked by 1 person

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