Ah, Sleeping Beauty. I’ll admit, this was one of my favorites as a kid. Maybe it’s because they did a lot to flesh out the villain, Maleficent, this time around. She just seemed like a really cool bad guy.
Look, I won’t get into it here, but I’m not a fan of the Angelina Jolie Maleficent film. Well, I liked it, and I thought her performance was phenomenal. I say that not even liking Angelina Jolie all that much. At all, really. My problem is with Maleficent’s modern characterization. My problem is with any modern storytelling that feels the need to make the audience feel sorry for the villain. It works sometimes. But don’t take a classic villain who had no motivation for being evil other than the fact that she was just plain evil. We need to stop looking for reasons why evil exists and just acknowledge that it exists. Stop pestering me about this! I said I wasn’t going to get into it here!
Where was I? Oh, right, Aurora. She doesn’t get a lot of screen time. It’s supposed to be her movie. Seriously, she got more screen time in Maleficent. She’s only around as a speaking character for the middle third of the film. At the beginning, she’s an infant. For most of the end, she’s asleep.How could I possibly judge whether or not she’s worth dating based on minimal exposure to the character? One can draw a lot of conclusions from her few minutes on screen.
Should You Date Her?
Probably not, no. Don’t get me wrong, she’s cute and all. And she’s got more of a rustic appeal than the previous princesses had. It helps that she was raised in a cabin in the woods, away from her royal palace.
But that’s an issue in itself. She’s got family she doesn’t know. That’s going to cause a significant identity crisis when she goes back home for her 16th birthday.
Also, she’s only 16.
Also, she’s another one that talks to animals. I’m starting to think it’s almost understandable to have conversations with these woodland creatures, though. Snow and Cindy were slaves, so they didn’t get a lot of social time. Aurora only hands out with three old women. I’d probably find myself talking to mice and squirrels, too.
Throw all that out, though. She apparently has a problem with narcolepsy. She and Prince Phillip get married. They settle into their own palace and Phillip might be feeling a little frisky, as husbands sometimes do. All he ever hears from Aurora? “Not tonight, dear. I’m tired.”
Red flag, Phil. Red flag.