My New Pet Peeve

Kids, I’ve recently discovered that I have a new biggest pet peeve.

For years, my biggest pet peeve was people who refuse to use a turn signal. Didn’t matter if it was because they were changing lanes or turning onto a different street. The signal is there for a reason. It’s not just a courtesy thing. It’s a safety thing.Decision 16 - Hans Moleman CrashBut, and I feel I should congratulate all of the bad drivers out there, the turn signal thing now pales in comparison to my current biggest pet peeve…


I understand that not all cars come equipped with cruise control. And when you’re driving down the highway, sometimes you can lose track of how fast you’re going. But come on… Do you really have to come up on me going 20 over the speed limit, only to pass me, then drop to 10 under once you’re in front of me?

See, I do have cruise control. And I utilize it quite often. It’s not that I don’t think I can properly regulate my speed without the aid of the machine. Most of my adult life, I drove a Ford Escort that did not have cruise control and I did just fine. But I figure if I’ve got it, why not use it? So I’ve got the thing set on roughly five over. I’m sure we can all agree that’s a pretty safe speed to go so as not to get pulled over. With the cruise control set, it becomes incredibly frustrating to play a game of cat and mouse with an inconsistent driver on the interstate.

Don’t get me wrong. The non-signal-users do nothing to lessen my road rage. But they have been officially replaced as my top pet peeve.

Look, you can go slow. I don’t care about that. It means I can pass you at some point. And you can go fast. Doesn’t bother me one bit if you pass me like I’m standing still and get a ticket three miles up the road where that state trooper is waiting for you. But don’t speed up, act like you’re gonna pass me, then hang out in my blind spot for until I suddenly get behind someone driving three miles an hour less than where my cruise control is set. I’m not saying I’m going to run you off the road, but the thought will go through my mind as I grip the steering wheel and mutter incoherent phrases under my breath like Joe Pesci in Home Alone.Home Alone - Joe Pesci

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