Kids, if you don’t watch Arrow or The Flash, this blog post may not make a lot of sense to you. I need to use those TV shows to illustrate my main point here. So if you are among those who just aren’t that into super hero shows, you are under no obligation to press the like or reblog buttons at the end of this post. Because you have a much more pressing issue to deal with: why aren’t you into super hero shows?Anyway, we need to move on. I’m really trying not to judge you weirdos who don’t watch such great television. Something you’re missing (or not, if you watch) is the introduction at the beginning of each episode. It’s basically the main character introducing himself and summing up the premise of the series. For example, the start of every episode of Arrow goes something like this:
“My name is Oliver Queen. I spent five years shipwrecked on an island where I learned to be a cage fighter and world-class archer. Now I’m a vigilante called the Green Arrow.”
I know that’s not Ollie’s intro verbatim, but it’s a fairly accurate paraphrasing. The opening for The Flash is similar:
“My name is Barry Allen. I got struck by lightning and now I’m wicked fast. Don’t try this at home, kids.”
Even Supergirl has her own opening monologue. Now, I realize that I’m no super hero, but I’d like to have one of these introductions for myself. Something concise that can give people a snapshot of who I am in a 30-60 second speech.
I know, I’m doing it again. Trying to live my life as if it’s a show on television. Things get neatly wrapped up in an hour, most of the time, unless we’re dealing with a two-parter. My year begins in August and ends in May, while the summer is inexplicably not important enough to be televised. Working in a school, it sort of feels that way sometimes. But my life isn’t a TV show. My friends who move away aren’t actually spinning off into their own series. Besides, for all I know, I’m the spin-off.
Anyway, I just think it would be nice to have that introductory speech ready to go, in case I meet someone new. Though, I suppose it could potentially freak someone out if I stuck my hand out and boldly stated…
“My name is Aaron Peck. After years of repressing my feelings and caring deeply about what people think of me, I’ve had a change of heart. Now I just don’t care about the opinions of others, freeing me to be awesome, pretty much all the time. I am Captain Awesome.”
But, at least they won’t see the “Previously on Aaron…” montage that plays in my head. I guess that’s what dreams are for. They rehash the events of the previous day, right? But, if that’s the case, where did that scary clown with the flaming head come from? I sure didn’t see that guy at work yesterday.