Caution: This post is a vent session. If you don’t want to read my current complaints, go somewhere else.
Do you ever have days where you just don’t want to be around people? Do you ever have a bad day when there’s just no logical reason for it to be bad? That’s the kind of day I’m having today, and it’s barely 9:00 a.m. (I’m aware the timestamp on this post will say it’s much later, but the internet hasn’t been cooperating. Just one more thing to deal with today.)It would be easy to blame the weather. I’m not the biggest fan of a rainy day, but my dislike for it doesn’t automatically fuel my desire to stay away from fellow humans. The rain falling outside can’t be what’s making people’s voices sound like nails on a chalkboard. And, thus far, nothing that anyone has said to me has come across as comforting. I haven’t wanted to hear anyone else complain about the weather. I haven’t wanted to listen to a chipper greeting. I haven’t wanted to answer questions about my previous evening. I just want to be left alone.But I’m at work. Where I work with small children. Being left alone is not an option. And this is where being the adult kind of sucks. If one of my kids has a bad day, I’m expected to help them process through why they’re having a bad day. If I have a bad day,, I have to suck it up and pretend like everything is fine and dandy. This becomes increasingly difficult when so many of the kids I work with need to be told multiple times to do something that’s expected of them. I don’t want to have to repeat myself today. I’m irritable and easily frustrated and I can only pray that I don’t snap and end up yelling at a kid.Every room in the school is hot. I get that it’s still winter and having a coal furnace that was top of the line in 1942 makes temperature regulation a luxury that we just don’t have, but that’s not really helping my attitude either. I’d
almost rather stand outside in the cold rain that sit in the back of a classroom in a puddle of my own sweat.Ugh… I can’t even put together thoughts anymore. When people have been talking to me this morning, I haven’t been taking in their words. My brain just keeps repeating, “Please, stop talking to me! Please, stop talking to me!” That, or “Leave me alone! Leave me alone!”Like I said, this has been a vent session. While I normally love getting comments when they are given, I really don’t want to receive any comments from anyone trying to cheer me up. I just crawl into a hole and be alone. But, please, feel free to come back and leave your comments on the post that’s scheduled to go out later this afternoon. In the meantime, I’m off to face the rest of the day as I attempt to fake a positive attitude while I interact with a bunch of kids who, I’m pretty sure, couldn’t care less about my being here at all.