Welcome back, dear readers, to another installment of our Question of the Week series. Today, we’re diving into a topic that might make some of us squirm in our seats a little. Don’t worry, though – I promise not to judge. Much.

This week’s question comes from Gregory Stock’s thought-provoking book, The Book of Questions. Brace yourselves, because here it is:

How much energy do you spend trying to impress others? Does it bother you when people like you because they think you have qualities you don’t actually have?

Now, before we plunge into the depths of this existential quandary, let me assure you that I’m not here to make you question your entire life choices. Well, maybe just a little. After all, what’s a good blog post if it doesn’t leave you staring at the ceiling at 3 AM, right?

The Great Impression Game

Let’s tackle the first part of the question: How much energy do we spend trying to impress others? If you’re anything like me, your immediate response might be, “Pfft, I don’t care what others think!” But let’s be honest here – we all care to some degree. Unless you’re a hermit living in a cave (and if you are, how are you reading this blog?), you’re probably engaged in the great impression game whether you like it or not.

From the moment we wake up and decide whether to brush our hair (or in my case, decide which hat will best hide the fact that I haven’t), to the way we curate our social media feeds, we’re constantly making choices that affect how others perceive us. It’s like we’re all walking, talking, occasionally showering billboards advertising our best selves.

But here’s the kicker – the amount of energy we expend on this varies wildly from person to person. Some folks seem to have turned impression management into an Olympic sport, while others… well, let’s just say they missed the memo that pajamas aren’t appropriate attire for job interviews.

As for me? I generally don’t spend a lot of time or energy trying to impress others. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not showing up to dinner parties in my “comfy” pants (you know the ones – they have an elastic waistband and may or may not have remnants of last week’s nachos on them). But I’m also not losing sleep over whether my neighbors think I’m cool enough because I don’t own the latest smart fridge that can order milk and judge my dietary choices simultaneously.

The Qualities Conundrum

Now, onto the second part of our question: Does it bother you when people like you because they think you have qualities you don’t actually have?

This is where things get a bit… squirrely. On one hand, it’s flattering when people think highly of us. On the other hand, if they’re basing that opinion on qualities we don’t possess, it can feel a bit like we’re wearing someone else’s shoes – and they’re two sizes too big.

Personally, it doesn’t necessarily bother me if people think I have qualities that I don’t actually have. I mean, if someone wants to believe I’m an expert yodeler or that I can juggle flaming swords while reciting Shakespeare backwards, who am I to burst their bubble? It’s their imagination doing the heavy lifting, not me.

However, I will admit that sometimes it can lead to a touch of imposter syndrome. You know, that nagging feeling that you’re a fraud and any minute now, someone’s going to point at you and yell, “Aha! I knew you couldn’t really speak fluent Klingon!” (For the record, I can’t. But I can say “Live long and prosper” with a pretty convincing Vulcan salute.)

The way I see it, though, if people get disappointed when they discover the truth, that’s on them. I’m not going to lose sleep over someone else’s misplaced expectations. Life’s too short, and there are too many episodes of Smallville left to watch.

The Authenticity Tightrope

All this talk about impressing others and perceived qualities leads us to an interesting balancing act – the authenticity tightrope. On one side, we have the desire to put our best foot forward and be liked. On the other, we have the need to be true to ourselves.

It’s like trying to walk a tightrope while juggling our true selves, our idealized selves, and the selves we think others want us to be. And let me tell you, I’m no circus performer. I can barely walk and chew gum at the same time.

So, how do we navigate this? How do we find the sweet spot between making a good impression and being authentic?

Here’s my two cents (adjusted for inflation, of course):

1. Know thyself: It’s hard to be authentic if you don’t know who you are. Take some time for self-reflection. What are your values? What matters to you? What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? (This last one is crucial, trust me.)
2. Set boundaries: It’s okay to want to make a good impression, but not at the expense of your wellbeing or integrity. Learn to say no to things that don’t align with your values, even if they might make you look good to others.
3. Embrace your quirks: Those little oddities that make you uniquely you? They’re features, not bugs. Own them. Love them. Use them as conversation starters at awkward dinner parties.
4. Practice honesty: If someone compliments you on a quality you don’t have, it’s okay to gently correct them. You don’t have to shout, “You’re wrong and I’m a fraud!” But a simple, “Oh, that’s kind of you to say, but actually…” can go a long way.
5. Remember, everyone’s winging it: Here’s a secret – most people are too busy worrying about the impression they’re making to scrutinize yours too closely. We’re all just trying to figure this life thing out, one day at a time.

The Bottom Line

At the end of the day, the energy we spend trying to impress others and how we feel about perceived qualities are deeply personal matters. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some people thrive on crafting a specific image, while others are more comfortable letting their unfiltered selves shine through.

What matters most is finding a balance that feels right for you. One that allows you to navigate social situations comfortably without feeling like you’re constantly wearing a mask (and I’m not talking about the pandemic kind).

As for me, I’ll continue to put my best foot forward when it matters, but I won’t bend over backwards to impress others. And if someone wants to believe I’m secretly a superhero or a gourmet chef or a world-class origami artist? Well, I’ll just smile enigmatically and let them wonder.

Now, dear readers, it’s your turn. How much energy do you spend trying to impress others? Does it bother you when people attribute qualities to you that you don’t possess? Share your thoughts in the comments below. Don’t worry about trying to impress me with your answers – unless, of course, you want to. In which case, points for honesty!

Until next week, keep being authentically you – perceived qualities, impressions, and all.