From Gregory Stock’s The Book of Questions: What would your funeral be like if you died tomorrow? Who would you want to speak, and what would they say about you if they were being honest?

Well friends, it’s been a wild ride but it seems my time on this mortal coil may be coming to an end soon. As I contemplate my eventual demise, I can’t help but fantasize about the epic Viking funeral I wish I could have.

Picture this: my body gently placed upon a wooden boat, adorned with a funeral pyre and the loot I’ve plundered over the years (mostly small, unused leftover Lego pieces). As the boat is pushed out to sea, a hush falls over the crowd gathered on the shore. Suddenly, a fiery arrow arcs through the sky, landing on the boat which erupts into flames. My spirit ascends to Valhalla as the flames consume my earthly form.

If I could choose anyone to eulogize me during this momentous event, it would have to be the legendary Jeff Winger. I know… fictional character. However, using his formidable lawyer rhetoric, I’m sure he could convince the teary-eyed crowd that I was a pretty awesome guy, despite my many quirks and flaws.

“Was he the best roommate? No, but the moldy chicken nuggets he left in the back of the fridge really kept me on my toes,” Jeff would say. “Sure he had questionable taste in music and entertainment, but he introduced me to the meditative tranquility of birdwatching.”

Jeff would go on to highlight my most redeemable qualities, finding creative ways to spin even my strangest habits into life lessons for all who knew me. And knowing Jeff, he’d be sure to throw in some classic Winger speeches and enough pop culture references to keep things interesting.

At the end of the day, I know my non-fictional friends would be there to send me off in style – perhaps holding back laughter as they shared their favorite wild and zany memories of our times together. And isn’t that what life is about? Forging bonds and leaving behind sweet, silly stories others will tell about you after you’re gone?

Well friends, hopefully my time left in this world is long. But when it does come time for that big Viking send-off, I trust you’ll all be there to make it a celebration worthy of the halls of Asgard. What would your epic funeral look like? Share your visions in the comments below!

Feature Photo by Sebastian Voortman