If your best friend fell head over heels in love with someone you thought was deceptive and creepy, and you could use an anonymous service to get the lowdown on his or her credit, medical, and employment history; school records; parking tickets; politics; bank records; and Facebook postings, would you? If so, what kind of discovery would it take before you’d intervene to protect your friend?
No… I’m not going to invade this person’s privacy just because I think they’re deceptive and creepy. Because then what does that make me? Also deceptive and creepy.
Besides, in my experience, when someone is “head over heels in love” with another person, it doesn’t matter what anyone else says. It doesn’t matter what anyone else sees in that significant other. This best friend is not likely to listen if I were to share my real opinion about this person they love. For better or worse, they’re going to make their own mistakes.
But what would you do? Are you willing to do a deep dive into someone’s personal back story to dig up dirt? Would you be willing to share your concerns with your friend, hoping they would listen? Let me know in the comments!
*The Question of the Week can be found in The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.