Question of the Week #312

Have you been sexually attracted to men and women? To someone in your family? To someone already in a serious relationship? If so, how did you (and they) deal with it?

To quote an old friend, “My door just doesn’t swing both ways…”

That said, I have only ever found myself attracted to women. That doesn’t mean I’m not secure enough in my masculinity to recognize when another dude is empirically attractive. But no feelings of intimacy are stirred.

I can also honestly say that I’ve never been attracted to anyone in my own family. Not even a little bit.

As far as someone already in a serious relationship, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to women who were already attached. But that doesn’t mean I ever did anything or would do anything to pursue anything with that person. Seriously, I don’t take time to pursue single women. Pursuing one who already has a significant other? That’s just too much drama. Also, just… blatantly wrong. Especially if there’s a ring on it. You know?

What about you? Have you found yourself attracted to both sexes? To anyone in the family? To someone who was attached? This is a touchy subject, so share at your own discretion in the comments below…

*The Question of the Week can be found in The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.

5 thoughts on “Question of the Week #312

  1. I definitely feel like female sexuality is a bit different than males. I’m told that men fall in love with looks first and then the rest later, and women fall in love with personality. Like yes, we still do have those first lustful impressions of people. But I am personally more into the personality of a man than his looks all the time. Maybe that’s why the men I date tend to be all over the place in the looks department hahaha. ANYWAY that being said, I have been attracted to some female friends who I knew well enough to form kind of a connection. I will say that I identify strictly as heterosexual though and have never been moved to act on any of those feelings? Never been attracted to someone in my family either. People already in a relationship? Totes. Acting on it? Nopes.

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  2. I’ve known I was attracted to any gender since I was a kid and starting to develop romantic feelings. My first crush was on a female cartoon character, lol. Never anything towards family members though, I can obviously tell when someone is attractive but that doesn’t mean I am attracted to them. As far as pursuing others who are already in serious relationships, that entirely depends on whether or not they are involved in ENM or polyamory. For example, my husband has a girlfriend of 18 months who is also in a long-term committed relationship– and as long as everyone is aware, consents, and is safety-conscious (which can be hard during covid when we have to limit our contacts and test ourselves all the time), I see no harm.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hmmm
    I’m fairly sure I’m straight, but women are so gorgeous that I’m not sure if I’m like 100% on one team. That being said, I’m with my boyfriend and thats it.
    I mean I have been attracted to other people despite dating him; it’s less attraction and more this recognition that this is someone i would flirt with or do something stupid with if I wasn’t with him. It’s inspired a lot of guilt, but we talked about it and it’s not something I would ever act on.

    Liked by 1 person

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