When was the last time you stole something? Why haven’t you stolen anything since then?
I’ve never stolen anything.
Unless you count that time I stole a girl’s heart. And I haven’t stolen anything since because I’m pretty sure she didn’t make it when she couldn’t get that transplant.
See what I did there? I started out making it sound like I figuratively stole someone’s heart on an emotional level, then twisted it so that it sounded like I stole the physical organ the pumps blood throughout the body. But I guess it’s not as funny if I have to explain the joke. Still super twisted, though. I should probably apologize.
I’m racking my brain and I really am pretty sure I’ve never stolen anything. I feel confident in claiming that I was raised to have a fairly firm grasp on the difference between right and wrong and, well, stealing is wrong.
That sounds super high and mighty of me. Like I think I’m better than you if you’ve ever stolen something and I haven’t. I don’t actually intend it to be like that. Because I’d genuinely like to know your answer in the comments. I promise, this is a safe zone. No charges will be brought against you.
*The Question of the Week can be found in The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.
The Confusing Middle 
I remember in middle school I would go down the candy isle and pop out 1 mento fruit hard candy. I would fold the wrapper to look it was never opened. I felt guilty for taking the one piece of candy but not as guilty because I didn’t steal the whole roll. Either way it was wrong and I never look at mentos the same way.
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I’ve never stolen anything from like a store, but I have taken something of my brother’s that I knew wasn’t mine when I was younger. Or, again when I was younger, walking through the kitchen and spotting a toonie on the table (hehe alliteration!) and knowing it wasn’t mine but it found it’s way into my pocket.
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I don’t think I’ve stolen anything, unless you count a mint from a candy aisle in a store as stealing. Also, I appreciate when people make jokes and then fully explain them afterwards. It’s a very retrospective form of humour not enough people understand.
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You know those silverware drawer dividers? I bought one last year after moving into our house and when I got it home, I realized that it was actually 2 trays stuck together. My reason for keeping the extra one was that the sales person should have noticed when ringing me up. Plus I didn’t feel like making the drive back to the store. My mom was with me and she gave me ‘the look’ which I feel is punishment enough for my crime.
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