Wild Things at the Green House

I know… I said I was just taking a week off. I lied.

Chaucer - I Give the Truth ScopeWhat’s it been? Three weeks… give or take? Yes, well… about that. I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not. Last week, it occurred to me that I hadn’t written anything here in more than the week I said I’d be away. I just couldn’t seem to care.

And I don’t mean that in the sense that I no longer care about maintaining this blog. I just mean that I was having a difficult time coming up with something to write about and I didn’t feel that it was necessary to force myself to come up with something.

Now, here we are. And I have something to write about. Maybe you’ll find it entertaining. Maybe you won’t. But it is what it is.

I’m living alone at the moment. I technically still have a roommate, but he’s off house sitting for roughly six consecutive weeks. But, wait… Didn’t I have two roommates? Yes, I did. But the one who’s not house sitting for six weeks moved to Florida to advance his career with the United States Forestry Service.

So, for all intents and purposes (am I using that phrase correctly?) I am currently living alone.

It’s odd, really. On the one hand, I am that introvert who really enjoys his alone time. On the other hand, it’s really bizarre to be in this house with no one else around.

Since I’ve been here alone for the last week, I’ve gotten the impression that the wildlife surrounding the Green House have become bolder. It’s as if they sense that I’m here alone. And since I’m alone, maybe they think they can take me on.

Let’s begin with the spiders. So many spiders. In general, I’m not bothered by the existence of spiders. I know there are plenty of people out there who believe that the only good spider is a dead one. I’m not like that. I believe that spiders serve a valuable purpose in the circle of life. Sure, they’re creepy and venomous… But I’m pretty much of the mind that if they don’t bother me, I won’t bother them.

It’s when they invade my territory that I decide it’s time to get rid of them. The most common spider I’ve seen in the house in recent days is apparently the bold jumping spider. I would call these a medium sized spider. They’re black with a small white spot on the abdomen. Their legs aren’t very long and they tend to be slightly fuzzy. When motivated, they have a tendency to dart about pretty quickly. Apparently, they eat lots of insects and even other spiders, leaving little or no webbing around as evidence.

So these are considered helpful spiders. At least, I wouldn’t consider them pests. Until they invade my territory. Look, you can crawl across the ceiling and the walls on the other side of the room all you want. But when I find you on the shower curtain? That’s when you have to die. I killed that shower curtain spider with some wadded up toilet paper. It made a sickening crunch when I crushed its exoskeleton. And it was pretty gooey, too.

There have been three others that I’ve captured crawling near me as I’ve sat on the sofa. Remembering the uncomfortable feeling of killing that first one, I’ve chosen to just catch them and release them outside. Sure, I suppose they could get back in the house. But research has shown that they prefer the outdoors.

The Green House has also had a mouse problem in the past. Usually, these mice are unseen and even unheard. We know they exist because they occasionally appear dead in our various mousetraps that have been set throughout the house. But, as I said earlier, the wild things around the Green House are growing bolder in my roommates’ absence.

The other night, I was minding my own business, watching a movie in the living room. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted something dart from under the table holding the TV. It moved along the baseboard to a spot behind the chair on the other side of the room. Then it emerged. Slowly. Deliberately. The mouse, which looked kind of adorable, looked around as if surveying its surroundings. It still moved slowly, almost daring me to come after it.

I didn’t. Eventually it ran back to some hole in the floor from where I assume it initially emerged. I trust that the mousetraps will do their job if the mice continue to become more curious.

Finally, we should really talk about the lawn. Y’all, it’s been raining. A lot. This means that the grass surrounding the Green House is now above my knees. It’s starting to look like Jumanji out there. We don’t own a lawn mower at the Green House. So it’s on us to borrow one from friends when the grass needs to be cut down.

But with the daily rain, it’s seemed pointless to try and hunt down a mower I could use. I’ve looked at the forecast and tomorrow is supposed to be dry and not incredibly hot. I just hope that the mower I’m borrowing will be powerful enough to take down the amber waves of grain that now cover the yard.

I do worry a bit about the wild things that could be lurking in the tall grass. I don’t think I’ll get attacked by any of the rabbits I’ve seen darting in and out of the grass. But what if there are snakes out there? What if there’s a tiger? I mean, you never know. That grass is super tall. Those big cats pounce as if from nowhere.

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