To all of my fellow Americans, happy Independence Day!

If fireworks are your thing, I hope you are having a lovely evening watching all those explosions in the sky. Personally, I’m just as content sitting at home reading or watching a movie or obsessing over the Big Brother live feeds.

It’s not that I actively dislike fireworks. In fact, just this past Saturday, I went up to Mountain Lake with several friends to watch fireworks over what used to be a beautiful lake. Though, I actually left about five minutes into the show.

But if I don’t actively dislike fireworks, why would I choose to leave right after they started shooting off the rockets? Because there were a lot (A LOT) of people there and I really didn’t feel like spending three hours driving in a line of traffic all the way down the mountain.

I didn’t feel bad about leaving. I got to hang out with a bunch of people that I love spending time with for several hours before the sun even set. Besides, when you’ve seen one fireworks display, haven’t you pretty much seen them all? I mean, really?

BOOM! Oooh! POP! Aaah!

I mean, in over a thousand years of the existence of fireworks, has there really been any major changes to the way the things work? Sure, I saw explosions that looked like distorted smiley faces. Maybe that’s a sort of new thing. But I was less than impressed.

You want to impress me? Find a way to retell the history of the American Revolution in fireworks. That’s a display I’ll make time for.

And don’t accuse me of being unpatriotic! I love America! It just takes more than a fancy light show to get me out of the house on a school night.