Welcome to Rewatching Buffy, the part of the blog where I rewatch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Each Tuesday evening, you’re invited to join me as I attempt to rediscover what made me love this show 20 years ago.

The Wish

• We start with a daytime slaying. Some kind of demon that doesn’t go poof when killed. Leaving the Scooby Gang on burial detail.
• Xander and Willow are still dealing with the fallout of their indiscretion which led to their break-ups with Cordelia and Oz, respectively.
• Xander keeps trying to call Cordelia. It’s kind of stalkery.
• Cordelia is burning pictures of Xander. It’s kind of witchcrafty.
• And probably catharticky.
• She returns to school after recovering from her injury. She’s dressed to kill.
• Her friends introduce her to the new girl, Anya.
• Then they openly mock her for having dated Xander for so long.
• Oz, on the other hand, just tells Willow to leave him alone to figure things out for himself.
• Being that stoic kind of allows him to have a good head on his shoulders.
• Buffy tries to talk to Cordelia and they’re attacked by a vampire. Buffy slays, but not before Cordelia gets knocked into a pile of trash.
• Anya is being super nice to Cordelia.
• …and kind of manipulating her into making a wish for some reason.
• Which she does… After making the logical leap that things would be better for her if Buffy Summers had never moved to Sunnydale.
• So let it be written. So let it be done.
• As it turns out, Anya is a demon that grants wishes. Like an evil genie.
• It’s a new world, kids. Buffy never came to Sunnydale. And only a handful of teenagers still survive on the Hellmouth.
• Because the undead have pretty much taken over.
• And they’re not a secret to the general population. Cloves of garlic and crosses hanging all over the school… there’s a monthly memorial at school… the town is under curfew…
• Cordelia asks about Xander and Willow… they’re dead.
• She’s warned to get inside before the sun sets. Of course, she doesn’t.
• And then she runs into Xander… huh? And Willow… huh?
• Oh, so they’re not dead. They’re undead. And they’re this reality’s version of Spike & Dru.
• Cordelia is saved by Giles, Oz, and a crew of student vampire hunters.
• The Bronze has become vampire central.
• And the Master is in charge. Makes sense, since Buffy never arrived two years ago to stop him from opening the Hellmouth.
• But why isn’t Darla around? Did Angel still kill her in this world, too?
• Xander and Willow track Cordelia back to the library and trap Giles in the book cage while they kill Cordy.
• The Master is pleased with his pets’ kill, which they believe will stop the Slayer from being called to Sunnydale.
• But Cordelia was able to tell Giles about her wish and the way things were supposed to be before she was killed.
• In this world, Angel is chained up and constantly tortured by Willow. Like she’s his plaything.
• Giles kept the necklace that Anya gave Cordelia and recognizes it as the symbol of Anyanka.
• Vampires are rounding up people for their factory. Whatever that is.
• Giles, trying to stop a group from being abducted, is nearly killed. But then Buffy shows up and slays a handful of vampires.
• This is not the Buffy we all know and love. This is a hardened Slayer who has clearly been doing this gig all these years without the support of friends or family.
• Buffy decides to go after the Master while Giles tries to figure out how to reverse Anyanka’s granted wish.
• When Buffy gets to the Bronze, she only finds a chained up Angel. She doesn’t recognize him or care that he’s caged.
• But he recognizes her. He expected her to come to Sunnydale, but she never came.
• She lets him go so he can show her how to get to the Master’s factory.
• It’s basically bloodletting on a mass production scale.
• Meanwhile, Giles summons Anyanka. She’s less than pleased at being summoned by a man.
• Buffy and Angel arrive at the factory. Pretty much everyone dies.
• Xander kills Angel. Buffy kills Xander. Oz kills Willow. The Master kills Buffy.
• Giles destroys Anyanka’s necklace and everything returns to normal. Anya loses her powers.
• All deaths that occurred in the alternate reality don’t count. So I’m not counting them. Because they never happened.
• Body Count: Demons – 1; Vampires – 1