We’re all well aware of what the comb over is, right? I mean, just turn on the news any given day of the week and take a look at the current Republican presidential candidate. You can’t tell me Donald Trump isn’t rocking a comb over. It’s almost epic. It almost deserves its own Saturday Night Live sketch. Has it already gotten one? I don’t watch too much SNL these days. Show hasn’t been good since Tina left.
The comb over transcends politics, values, and beliefs. But what would possess a bald or balding man to make that life decision? Why would they go with such a hair style? It’s not as if they’re fooling anyone. Comb over guys, the secret’s out. We all know you’re follicularly challenged. But there must be a reason. I’ve come up with ten.
1. Sun Protection Factor:
Anyone who has shaved or even buzzed their hair in the summertime knows just how painful a scalp sunburn can be. Then, as it heals, the skin flakes off, giving a dandruffy impression. A comb over would provide some much needed shade on those hot, sunny days.
2. Keeping Out the Chill:
People tend to underestimate the amount of warmth that hair can provide. Even shaving off a beard can cause your face to become unexpectedly chilled. So a comb over could be a great asset for a bald scalp when winter comes.
3. Weaponized Hair:
Come over hair can become quite long for some men. After all, that hair may have to cover a lot of real estate, depending on the area of baldness. That long hair can become a dangerous weapon if utilized properly. Whip that thing around and you could put an eye out. Just be careful that it’s not your own.
The purpose of camouflage is to help you blend in. In a way, comb overs are an attempt to blend in with people with full heads of hair. Nice try, fellas!
5. Halloween Costume:
Again, if that comb over hair gets long enough, it can be beneficial. When October 31 rolls around, you’ll be ready to trick-or-treat as Cousin Itt from The Addams Family.
6. Neck Muscle Strengthening:
Hair gets heavy. You’ve gotta build some pretty strong neck muscles to carry it on your head. Especially if you’ve weaponized it and are whipping it around taking out the bad guys.
7. Charitable Donations:
Ever heard of Locks of Love? Well, while you grow that hair out to the full 10 inches they require, comb it on over to save some space.
8. Provide a Good Home for Rodents:
You get a good pile of messy hair wrapped up on top of someone’s head, it kind of looks like a rat’s nest, right? So, there you go. Keep some tiny animals in there. They’d make for a good topic of conversation. Okay, maybe not a good topic. But definitely a topic.
9. Give Daughters Practice in Braiding:
Once again, if that comb over hair gets long enough, there’s a lot that could be done with it. And if you have a daughter, there’s a good chance she’s gonna like playing with hair. She might want to practice her braiding skills on dear old dad’s comb over. It’s just hanging there, too tempting for the girl to pass up. Submit to the comb over makeover.
10. So Darn Stylish:
Self explanatory. Really.
And there you have it. Can you think of any other reasons why the comb over is such a popular fashion statement? Let me know in the comments!