The Single Guy vs. the Haircut

The following account is based on actual events which occurred a number of years ago…

The Girl in the White SUV was a stylist at a salon down the road from the bank. This was information that the Single Guy had learned early on in his interactions with her. But it was information that he chose not to use to his advantage. He argued that it just wouldn’t be worth the price he would have to pay at a high end kind of salon, just to get a simple haircut. Sure, it would be a haircut from a girl he’d dreamed of having a conversation with for months, but he had a hard enough time paying money for his usual haircut when he knew he’d be just as happy shaving his head himself for free.

But time passed by. And the passage of time with a lack of results can do a lot to change a Single Guy’s mind. He decided that the next time he saw her at the bank, he would ask the Girl in the White SUV if her salon took walk-ins.

So she arrived. Just the prospect of speaking to her made him nervous. But the Single Guy had to persevere. He knew he needed to push through his anxiety if he was ever to make any kind of progress with this girl. After he ran her deposit and handed out her receipt, he quickly asked if he could ask her a question. Mentally, he kicked himself, knowing that he had just, in fact, asked her a question. But she said sure anyway, despite the fact that she looked like a deer trapped in the headlights. She may have thought the Single Guy was about to try and sell her something. Or, worse, ask her out on a date.

“Do you all take walk-ins?” he asked, his voice shaking but beginning to calm a bit.

Relief seemed to come over her as he had asked about something she was comfortable talking about. “At the salon?” she asked.

The Single Guy fought to keep his sarcasm in check because his immediate thought was, No, at the grocery store across the street… Then he thought, Save it, you want this girl to like you… So, instead, he just said, “Yeah…”

“Well, it’s rare that anyone’s ever available, so it’s better to call and make an appointment.” She smiled, then said, “So yeah, just call.”

He said okay and wished her a good afternoon. And life returned to normal. He fought the urge to take a break fro work to call and set up his appointment right at that moment. Logic told him that he certainly did not want to appear too eager or desperate. Though it had been quite a while since his last haircut, so he was ready.

But he waited. She came to the bank the next day, but still, he waited. He gave it an entire weekend, and decided he would call on Monday, his first day of vacation. When he finally called the salon, the man who answered the phone gave him the girl’s cell phone number and instructed him to call her directly to set up an appointment with her.

This brought on a whole new level of anxiety for the Single Guy. He was sure it was a business only kind of cell phone, but still, he had her personal number. He wasn’t immediately sure of how to proceed. And then he decided that if it was ever going to happen, he just needed to call. He was incredibly relieved to hear her outgoing voicemail message. He left his name and number, then he waited all over again.

He waited two days and received no call. He wasn’t sure what to think. He had been so excited when she suggested that he call, but so disappointed when she never returned that call. But he didn’t want to give up. The Single Guy was ready to find that fine line between perseverance and obsession. On Wednesday, he called again. Once again, he got her voicemail, but this time, her outgoing message was different. This time, he found out that the girl in the White SUV would be out of the salon for two weeks and would not be returning calls or making appointments until that time.

The Single Guy felt a lot better about things after that. At least, he figured, the lack of a call back wasn’t personal. But he still needed a haircut. So he went to his usual place and paid his usual price. But he was still willing to go again the next day if that’s what it would take to get the Girl in the White SUV to cut his hair.The Single Guy vs the Haircut - Dumb and Dumber

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