Until recently, I’d never even considered watching anything related to the “reality” show, The Bachelor. But a friend has spoken highly of the show and, I’ll admit, I was intrigued. Does that mean that I caught up on every episode that Hulu had to offer? Absolutely not. I wasn’t that intrigued.
But over the Labor Day weekend, I was visiting with friends who recorded Sunday’s episode of Bachelor in Paradise. Sure, I could have easily left the room or found something else to do, but I found myself entranced by the ridiculous people on TV. I found myself becoming involved in their drama. And I liked it. Sort of.
I’ve since decided that the man or woman who came up with the concept for these shows must be a sick individual who would, in a comic book world, be considered some kind of mad genius super villain. It’s like a
horrible wonderful sociology experiment gone terribly wrong right.In viewing only one (2-hour!) episode, I made a lot of observations and did a lot of mocking. But I’ll spare you all of those thoughts (mostly because I repressed a lot of those things when I attempted to refuse to believe I could enjoy watching the thing). You need only to read one of my observations.
There was a couple on the show who had (I’m told) been together since the beginning of the season. They made it to the final week and were one of only five remaining couples. This girl, Carly, was clearly head over heels for this guy, Kirk, but whenever the camera landed on his face, he just looked stressed out. After making it five-plus weeks with this guy, Carly was ready to spend the rest of her
life 6 months with him. Then he dropped the bomb that he’d been having doubts for over a week. But he waited until the first day of that last week to let her know. Then he couldn’t understand why she got so upset.I don’t remember everything Kirk said in his post-breakup monologue, but I think it went something like this. “I just don’t get why she’s so upset. I mean, I was honest with her. And, like, I’m okay with how things are gonna turn out. I just don’t get why she’s not cool with it.” Pretty sure that’s a good summary of his thoughts. Also, when you read that, try to sound as stupid as possible.
And, part of me wishes this was more like a traditional game show. On The Dating Game, the ones who didn’t win the date would get parting gifts. “Sorry, Carly, you didn’t find true love on Syphilis Island, but here’s what you will walk away with… You’ll get an awkward plane ride home next to strangers who won’t care why you’re crying! You’ll also receive ten years of therapy to deal with the crippling trust issues you’ve developed during your five week stay in paradise! Back to you, Chris!”
I’m not saying ABC has picked up a new regular viewer, because it wouldn’t be fun to watch this alone. Who would I make snide remarks to about the vapid contestants looking for love and finding only lust? No, I won’t be watching at home alone. Though, in the future, I don’t think I would turn down an invitation to watch with others, should they ever find they’re having a sarcasm shortage.
Sidebar: New TV show idea… Bachelor in Paradise on the island from Lost! Tell me you wouldn’t want to see these boys and girls picked off one by one by the smoke monster. Come on, ABC. Make this happen!