Absurd

I could air grievances based on the random absurdities I constantly find my life bombarded with. It would be cathartic. But I don’t know if that’s the right way to do things.

So what if I just take a look at myself and examine my own expectations and actions. What is it that I bring upon myself that falls under the category of absurd?

I have unrealistic expectations. I expect myself to be able to help the people around me no matter the situation they find themselves in. Ever since college, there have seemed to be seasons in my life when I become a magnet for people with problems. It’s because I’m slow to speak but quick to listen.

I’ve managed to parlay that into a somewhat successful career as some sort of counselor. But when it comes to giving advice, as counselors must sometimes do, I feel like I fall short. I get frustrated.

It isn’t necessarily because my advice to people is bad. To me, good advice just comes from having good common sense, something that is seriously lacking in a great majority of the people. The frustration comes when people have asked for advice but refuse to listen. Those people find themselves in the same situations over and over again. I’m not trying to be conceited here. I don’t want you to think that I think so highly of myself that everyone should follow my stellar advice and then their lives would be problem free. It’s just that, if you don’t want to hear the advice that someone is giving you, don’t ask for it in the first place.

At some point, I needed to realize just how absurd it is for me to expect to change people’s lives when they don’t want to change themselves. It’s not up to me. At some point, I needed to realize how absurd it is for me to get involved in other people’s lives. How involved I am is definitely up to me.

I disconnect myself from so much. And it’s because I get disappointed in people. When you get close to someone, you open yourself up and make yourself vulnerable. You set yourself up for that disappointment. It’s absurd to think that those people you call friends will never let you down.

It’s absurd to believe that anyone in your life is going to make zero mistakes. People will let you down: family, friends, significant others, co-workers, ministers, rodeo clowns… they’re all just human (except for the clowns, who are clearly demons in human form). They’re gonna screw up from time to time.

So this next part is as much for myself as it is for anyone reading. Have a little faith. Even though the people in your life have let you down before, get over it. Learn to love them anyway. Learn to love their flaws. Learn to help pick them up and dust them off. Learn to help them learn, because they may not even know what mistake they made. And then, learn to get over it again, because it doesn’t matter who they are to you or how much they mean, they will let you down again. It’s inevitable. It’s absurd to think they won’t.

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One thought on “Absurd

  1. Good thoughts for reflection and self-assessment.

    If a person is only ever friends with flawless people, s/he will indeed find him/herself entirely without friends. Shoot, I couldn’t be friends with myself given those expectations.

    If a person has never shared his/her expectations with others about what bothers him/her, it is rather absurd to think that they would instinctively know what to fix. We should all be willing to give others a chance to make amends and adjustments, and to understand that it can take time. Few can change overnight and in big ways, and that’s one of the great ways God grows our patience, at least for me personally, both in my waiting for others to adjust to my expectations, me learning to get used to their way, and also adjusting my own actions toward their expectations.

    Sorry for such a long response.

    Like

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