In the year 2016, I will be 36 years old. This means that it will be the first presidential election year in which I am legally eligible to run for the office of President of the United States. When I was a junior in college, my roommate, Dave, used to joke about how he would run for president in 2016. His platform: Elderly Drivers.

His thought was that elderly drivers can be dangerous on the road. Just as dangerous as any inexperienced teenager who just got their learner’s permit. This leads to his idea that anyone over a certain age, let’s just pick 65, should be required to take the behind-the-wheel driver’s test annually. If they fail, they lose their license. But where does that leave all the little old ladies that need to go get their hair done every other Tuesday? What about the old-timers who need to make it to Bingo night at the Moose Lodge? I’m glad you asked. There are a lot of people out there who have community service hours to work through. Have these people drive around the elderly folks. They might just learn something about life while they’re listening to their passengers drone on and on about the good ol’ days. Let’s just make sure it’s not someone who has community service after a DUI charge.

But I’ve gotten off topic. I’m not writing this to discuss Dave’s potential campaign. I’m writing to discuss mine. Dave’s gonna have some competition. For a while I wanted to be his running mate. I wouldn’t mind being VP for someone with his integrity. While I don’t have a platform on which to stand at this point, I do have a plan of action. All of my speeches will come from presidential speeches in movies. For example: Independence Day, The American President, Dave, and others.

I’ll officially announce my candidacy on Independence Day of 2016. That way I can begin my speech with “Perhaps it’s fate that today is the 4th of July…” A friend suggested that I answer every question from the media with “We’re gonna get the guns!” This comes from Michael Douglas’ speech at the end of The American President. Also from that movie, I’d like to end all my speeches with “My name is Aaron Peck and I’m running for president!” There will be so many movies to choose from, I’m sure I’ll never be able to fit them all in. Feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments.

Also, let me know how you’d vote in that election. I know you don’t know where I stand on all the issues, but that’s not important just now. Just keep in mind that we’re gonna get the guns. Today we celebrate our Independence Day! I’m Aaron Peck and I approve this message.