5 Reasons Why I’d Make a Bad Colonial Person

Bad ColonialNot long ago, I noticed someone’s Facebook status which made the claim that they would make a bad colonial person. If it was you, let me know so I can give you the proper credit. Anyway, that statement got me thinking: How would I have fared in colonial America? I don’t think I would do any better than my Facebook friend.

  1. I’m not very political. Living in modern times, I’m constantly bombarded by political news thanks to television and the internet. It’s almost impossible to not be aware of people’s political views, whether you want to know them or not. I know I should care more than I do, but I like to avoid arguments whenever possible. Politics almost always leads to arguments. Way back when, colonists didn’t have the same access to information, so I’m sure I’d be even less informed. I believe my ideology would fall in line with the patriots who wanted independence. But my silence regarding politics would probably have me branded a loyalist. I’d have to try and convince my fellow colonists that I couldn’t give two figs for the crown (or whatever else people couldn’t give in those days). With my luck, the Redcoats would probably overhear that and burn my house to the ground.
  2. I’m a big fan of indoor plumbing. I suppose if I were raised in that time period, I wouldn’t know what I was missing.
  3. I don’t agree with slavery. I’m taking a stand and saying it’s not good. And apparently, slavery was something of a way of life, especially in the southern colonies. Being from Virginia, I have a feeling that I would be confronted by the issue of slavery from time to time. This would likely put my non-confrontational, apolitical personality to the test.
  4. I can’t ride a horse to save my life. I’ve been on a horse once in my life and it was really uncomfortable. I have a hard time trusting a mode of transportation that has a mind of its own. I suppose if I had some wealth at my disposal, I’d could ride in a wagon or coach of some kind, but I’d still be relying on the horses’ ability to adhere to the driver’s leading. But who am I kidding? I wouldn’t be one of the wealthy colonists. I’d probably be an indentured servant. Which is like, one step above slavery. Which I am still against.
  5. I don’t like going to the doctor. And that’s in today’s world where I have insurance and medical attention is available at pretty much any time of the day or night. Knowing my dislike of being examined by medical professionals, I’m pretty sure this would lead to my early death at the hands of dysentery or gangrene or a broken ankle.

I’m sure there are more ways that I could fail at being a colonist. Probably many more. These are just the ones I could think of at the moment. How about you? Would you survive in the colonies during the mid-1700s? Let me know how you’d do in the comments.Bad Colonial 2BTW… if you do a search for “Adventures of George Washington” on Pinterest, you’ll find all kinds of hilariously captioned images of George. Just something to do when you’re bored.


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