Critters 2: The Main Course

1988

Directed by Mick Garris

Hey there, movie aficionados! We’re continuing our descent into cinematic mediocrity with number 61 on my worst films list: Critters 2: The Main Course. If you’ve been following along, you might remember that the original Critters already made an appearance at number 99. That’s right – somehow the sequel managed to be significantly worse than its predecessor, which was already scraping the bottom of the barrel. That’s quite an achievement in the world of diminishing returns.

Released in 1988, this sequel marked Mick Garris’s directorial debut. Garris would later go on to direct several Stephen King adaptations, which makes you wonder if King watched this film and thought, “Yes, that’s the guy who should adapt my literary masterpieces.” But I digress.

The Plot, Such As It Is

Critters 2 picks up two years after the events of the first film. Brad Brown (Scott Grimes) returns to Grover’s Bend, Kansas, to visit his grandmother, only to discover that the Krite eggs left behind from the first invasion are hatching just in time for Easter. How festive! Meanwhile, our shape-shifting bounty hunters Ug and Lee, along with their human companion Charlie McFadden, return to Earth to finish the job they started.

What follows is a bizarre hodgepodge of small-town hijinks, Easter celebrations gone wrong (including a memorable death of a man in an Easter Bunny costume), and increasingly ridiculous Critter attacks. The film culminates with the Critters joining together to form a giant rolling ball of teeth and fur that menaces the town, because apparently, the screenwriters looked at the first film and thought, “You know what this needs? More absurdity.”

The female bounty hunter Lee takes the form of a Playboy centerfold (because the 80s), only to be devoured by Critters in what might be the film’s attempt at commentary on the male gaze, but is more likely just an excuse to get a model in the movie. The whole thing ends with a kamikaze mission into the Critter-ball and a “touching” fake-out death that feels about as emotionally resonant as a fast-food commercial.

The Cast and Performances

Scott Grimes returns as Brad Brown, now a teenager, and manages to maintain the same level of wide-eyed bewilderment that characterized his performance in the original. Terrence Mann and Don Keith Opper reprise their roles as Ug and Charlie McFadden respectively, with Mann continuing to channel his inner rock star and Opper perfecting his lovable loser routine.

Newcomer Liane Alexandra Curtis joins as Megan Morgan, bringing that special brand of 80s teen attitude that involves a lot of eye-rolling and inexplicable attraction to the protagonist. Barry Corbin shows up as Sheriff Harv, essentially playing the same character he played in approximately 273 other films and TV shows throughout his career.

The real stars, of course, are the Critters themselves – although “stars” might be giving them too much credit. They’re essentially the same furry bowling balls with teeth from the first film, just more of them, and with an even more implausible ability to join together into a giant Katamari Damacy-esque monstrosity.

Behind the Scenes

Mick Garris got his chance to direct after working as a screenwriter on Steven Spielberg’s TV series Amazing Stories. According to reports, Garris initially turned down the offer to direct but later accepted because he was “a big fan of the first movie” and wanted to make the sequel “more scary.” I’m not sure which version of the first Critters film Garris watched, but “scary” isn’t the word that comes to mind for either installment.

The Chiodo Brothers, who created the special effects for the original film, returned to create over 50 Critter puppets for the sequel. That’s a lot of fuzzy meatballs with teeth, and I have to admit, there’s something almost admirable about the commitment to practical effects in an era when CGI was in its infancy. The Critters themselves remain charming in their low-budget way, even if they never quite achieve the menace the filmmakers were aiming for.

Interestingly, the film was shot in Valencia, Santa Clarita – a part of the Los Angeles metropolitan area – despite being set in rural Kansas. Nothing says “authentic small-town America” quite like the outskirts of LA with some hay bales scattered around.

Box Office and Legacy

Critters 2 grossed $3.8 million during its U.S. theatrical run against a budget of $4 million, making it a financial disappointment compared to the original, which pulled in $13.6 million. It also marked the end of the franchise’s theatrical releases, with subsequent sequels Critters 3 and Critters 4 going straight to video – a trajectory that surprises absolutely no one.

Despite its underwhelming performance, Critters 2 has developed something of a cult following over the years. I’m not sure if that’s due to genuine appreciation or the kind of ironic enjoyment that accompanies many bad movies from the 80s, but either way, it’s kept the franchise alive in the cultural memory. The film received a Blu-ray release as part of “The Critters Collection” in 2018, proving that even mediocre monster movies never truly die – they just get remastered.

Placing It in 80s Horror-Comedy Cinema

The late 80s was a weird time for horror-comedy. Following the success of films like Gremlins (1984) and Ghostbusters (1984), studios were eager to cash in on the trend of mixing scares with laughs. Critters 2 falls squarely into this category, alongside other questionable entries like Ghoulies II (1988) and Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988).

What makes Critters 2 stand out (or perhaps stand below) its contemporaries is its unapologetic embrace of camp. While the original Critters at least attempted to maintain some semblance of horror, the sequel leans hard into comedy, resulting in scenes like the Critter-ball rolling through town and a church congregation battling furry aliens. It’s as if the filmmakers looked at the “so bad it’s good” response to the first film and deliberately tried to recreate it, forgetting that such charm usually comes from genuine effort rather than self-conscious campiness.

My Personal Experience

I have a confession to make: I actually saw Critters 2 before I ever watched the original. As a kid channel-surfing late one night, I stumbled upon the scene where the Critters form their giant ball and was simultaneously horrified and fascinated. It was years before I connected this bizarre image to the Critters franchise, and by that time, the damage to my psyche was already done.

Revisiting it as an adult, I’m struck by how the film seems to operate on its own weird logic. It’s neither good enough to be legitimately entertaining nor bad enough to be unintentionally hilarious – it exists in a strange middle ground of mediocrity that somehow makes it more frustrating than a truly terrible movie.

In Conclusion

Critters 2: The Main Course is a perfect example of a sequel that misunderstands what (barely) worked about the original. While the first Critters was a derivative but somewhat earnest attempt at creating a monster movie, the sequel descends into self-parody, cranking up the camp factor without delivering anything genuinely frightening or funny.

Writer David Twohy later said in an interview with Starlog that “Critters 2 is something I’m still not terribly pleased is on my résumé,” which might be the most honest assessment of the film ever given. Roger Ebert was similarly unimpressed, giving it 1 out of 4 stars and stating that “It lacks all of the style and sense of fun of the original Critters and has no reason for existence.”

Harsh words, perhaps, but not undeserved for a film that represents everything wrong with unnecessary sequels. It’s bigger, louder, and goofier than its predecessor, but without any of the charm or tension that made the original at least somewhat watchable.

But hey, that’s just my opinion! Did you find Critters 2 to be a delightful romp through B-movie territory, or do you agree that it’s a regrettable chapter in 80s cinema? Let me know in the comments below!