It feels like it’s been too long since the last time Paul presented the bloggers with his last Captain’s Quiz…

But here we are, like old times. I’m quite moved. If you would like to participate in the latest version of The Captain’s Quiz, please head over to Paul’s blog, The Captain’s Speech!

HOW TO PLAY

• To participate, answer the questions below in a blog post of your own and link it back to Paul’s original post so he sees it.
  
• There are no right or wrong answers; there are only answers. Feel free to provide as many, or as few details as you want, at your own peril.
  
• You will receive a score of 1, 3, or 5 points for your responses to the 10 Questions. Your answers may unlock hidden bonus points, so answer wisely. 
  
• There are 3 Bonus Questions. The scoring for them will be kept a secret until the final results are posted.
  
• Next Wednesday, August 31 is the last day to participate. The results will be posted next Thursday.

THE 10 QUESTIONS

1. You are going camping at a campground for four days and three nights. Does this excite you, or fill you with dread? Explain.

I need to split my answer for this one. If that proves to be a detriment to my score, so be it. I can only be honest. The first two days and nights would be exciting and, I’m certain, lots of fun. Especially if I’m camping with a group of people that I enjoy spending extended amounts of time with. The rest of the trip would be filled with slight dread because, inevitably, the rain would come. It’s summer, which means we’re dealing with hot and extremely humid conditions. That can only present us with sunny skies for so long. The storm would roll in and we all know that a soggy campground complicates everything. Rain makes cooking over the fire a near impossibility. Sure, we could rig up a tarp to try and provide some semblance of shelter, but that’s just going to sag when it collects rainwater. And even if there isn’t rain, that last day of packing up and facing the reality of going back to the real world is never fun. If you’re pulling up muddy stakes and packing your tent in the rain, all the better, right?

2. They say that, “Sally sells seashells by the seashore”. How much money do you think Sally makes on a Saturday in July, and do you think her business should be set up elsewhere?

Oh, Sally… How many times do we have to go over this? Selling seashells by the seashore is not the best business strategy. I can simply walk 15 to 20 feet in either direction near the surf and find a dozen shells of various types without even digging. Some might even still have a living creature inside of them. It’s a Saturday in July, the month when, statistically, more people are visiting the beach than at any other time of the year. The sun is beating down on all these tourists and you think you’re going to turn a profit selling shells? Sally, sweetheart, sell water… lemonade… sports drinks… even soda! Sell aloe vera… sunscreen… even cheesy postcards would move faster than your seashells. Should you set up your seashell shop somewhere else? Sure… Try the majestic Blue Ridge Mountains. But even then you’re gonna run into a lot of people telling you that they found a whole bag full of shells when they went on vacation last summer. I really just think you can do better than shells. Oh, unless you’re making gaudy jewelry with those shells. Have you ever thought of that? Lots of college kids go through a phase when they love wearing necklaces made of shells. Give that a shot and we’ll revisit your profit margins next quarter.

3. The ideal temperature for sleep is approximately 18°C (65°F). What are five tips you have for staying cool while sleeping?

• A fan – I like to tell people I sleep with a fan on for the white noise of the thing. But it’s really all about that circulating air. If it’s blowing directly on me, even better. If I can’t feel that air moving, it doesn’t matter if it’s 65 or 85… all I feel is stuffy.
• The pillow – When you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (and stop pretending that we don’t all do it at least once), be sure to flip your pillow over when you get back to bed. There’s a reason it’s called the “cool side of the pillow.”
• Water – Keep a glass of cool water next to your bed at night. If you ever wake up thirsty, it’s already there so you don’t have to go anywhere to get it. Personally, I prefer ice water, so that would keep things extra cool. I know a lot of people prefer room temperature water… but I just think the colder water tastes better.
• Nudity – Never underestimate the power of sleeping with zero clothes. And, bonus, if you’re sharing that bed with a significant other, it could improve your love life. But that part probably won’t help to keep the temperature down, so let’s move on…
• Nocturnal sleep – This can be difficult for individuals who work a night shift position. Because those poor suckers are forced to sleep during the day. Night time, statistically speaking, is traditionally a cooler time during our 24 hour day. When that sun is out, even with blinds or curtains closed, it can heat up a room much more than you’d think. Sleeping at night, negates the sun’s effects.

4. In Season 4 of The O.C., Summer Roberts adopts a pet rabbit and names her Pancakes. What animal would you adopt and what breakfast food would you name it after?

It’s funny, I’ve been toying with the idea of adopting a cat recently. I mean… it’s an idea I’ve tossed around for several months, so who knows if it will actually ever happen. I’d like to name my cat Buffy, since that’s my favorite TV show of all time. But in sticking with the parameters of the quiz, I think Waffles might be a good name. Although, now that I think about it, Waffles might be a better name for a dog. Then again, I may only be thinking that because whenever I see someone text ROFL, I immediately think that this is how Scooby-Doo (a dog) would sound whenever trying to say the word “waffles.” Maybe a good cat name would be Pop Tart… because of the way they randomly tend to jump in the air for no apparent reason. POP!

5. SummerSlam is an annual professional wrestling event produced by the WWE. Thinking of yourself as a wrestler, provide the following information: your wrestling name, your character traits, your catchphrase, and the name of your most devastating maneuver.

Call me The Dropper… a name derived from my inability to catch or hold on to any sort of sports ball throughout my entire life. But don’t let my butterfingers fool you… Just because I might not be able to get a firm grasp on my opponent doesn’t mean I won’t be able to drop them to the mat in an instant! I’m one of those silent enforcers who comes in to clean things up when the bad guys start getting too rowdy. Maybe I’ll even drop in from the rafters to surprise some folks from time to time. My catchphrase wouldn’t be something I would say… It would be something the audience would continually yell when I have an opponent held high over my head: “DROP HIM! DROP HIM! DROP HIM!” And that devastating drop would be onto a table waiting just outside the ring. Give this guy the belt.

6. What is a frozen dessert you enjoy eating outside? On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the messiest), how messy is it?

Got to get specific with this one. I’m going with a banana pudding milkshake from a restaurant called Cook-Out. Now, normally, a milkshake couldn’t be considered all that messy. But this kind of milkshake is packed with pieces of banana and vanilla wafers ground up and mixed in. It is a super thick milkshake. It can be nearly impossible to drink much of it with a straw. Thankfully, the good people at Cook-Out provide a spoon with the shake. Unfortunately, the spoon isn’t what you would consider a long-handled spoon. In fact… the spoon is not as long as the cup is tall. Here’s where the messiness kicks in. To reach the cookie and banana goodness that has been shoved to the bottom of the milkshake, you have to use the spoon. But to get the spoon to the bottom of the cup, you really have to stick your hand in there, getting residual milkshake goo all over your fingers and hand. Scale of 1-10, I’d give it a 6. And totally worth it.

7. You are standing in an above ground swimming pool and your sunglasses fall to the bottom. How do you retrieve them?

I am terrified of sticking my head under water. Therefore, I would not just dive in after them. With it being an above ground pool, I feel like it’s a safe assumption that my feet will touch bottom in all areas of the pool. That being the case, I would use my unusually tactile toes to grip my sunglasses, giving me the ability to then lift my leg and grab the glasses from my foot, placing them back on my face to protect my sun-sensitive eyes.

8. “Walking on Sunshine” is an upbeat song by Katrina And The Waves. What songs would be on your summer playlist?

I freakin’ love this question… And I love making up playlists…

• “School’s Out” – Alice Cooper
• “Summer Breeze” – Seals and Croft
• “Margaritaville” – Jimmy Buffett
• “Kokomo” – The Beach Boys
• “Who Needs Shelter” – Jason Mraz
• “Under the Boardwalk” – The Drifters
• “Tonight You Belong To Me” – The Bird and the Bee
• “Thunder” – Boys Like Girls
• “I Can’t Go There” – Kenny Chesney
• “Summer of ’69” – Bryan Adams
• “Smooth (feat. Rob Thomas)” – Santana
• “Leaving on a Jet Plane” – Peter, Paul, and Mary
• “Saturday in the Park” – Chicago
• “Sunshine Superman” – Donovan
• “Black Water” – The Doobie Brothers
• “Seven Bridges Road” – Eagles
• “The Way” – Fastball
• “Lucky” – Jason Mraz, Colbie Caillat
• “Cheeseburger in Paradise” – Jimmy Buffett
• “Summer Nights” – John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John
• “Firework” – Katy Perry
• “Danger Zone” – Kenny Loggins
• “Walking on Sunshine” – Katrina and the Waves
• “Pleasant Valley Sunday” – The Monkees
• “How Bizarre” – OMC
• “Rhythm of Love” – Plain White T’s
• “California Girls” – The Beach Boys
• “Endless Summer Nights” – Richard Marx
• “Soak Up the Sun” – Sheryl Crow
• “Something Like That” – Tim McGraw

9. What are the pros and cons of patio dining?

Pros: Fresh air; a nice breeze; possibly the ambient music from a local band playing nearby…
Cons: Bugs; potentially no shade; possibly the ambient music from a really bad local band playing nearby…

10. What is a summer job you have had and how long did you remain friends/in-touch with your co-workers after the job ended?

I’m so old… I can hardly remember those summer jobs of high school and/or college. I know that one summer I worked at a store called World of Science… which I think eventually became The Discovery Store and may no longer exist… Anyway, the only reason I took that job was because a friend of mine from high school was the manager, so it was a pretty good situation while I was there. He and I really aren’t friends anymore. The last time I saw him was at our 10 year high school reunion. As for the other employees I knew there… there was absolutely no keeping in touch with them. This was long before Facebook, so that wasn’t even an option.

BONUS QUESTIONS

1. You have entered the food truck business. Tell me about your new venture and your strategy to dominate the market.

Three words: Grilled. Cheese. Sandwiches… The grilled cheese sandwich is simple yet versatile. Think about the different types of bread that can be used. Think about the different types of cheese that can used. So many possibilities with so few ingredients. Who doesn’t love a good grilled cheese sandwich? And it’s not just delicious, but it would play on the nostalgia factor as well. Unless, of course, you’re the 1 in 42,000 who has negative associations with grilled cheese.

2. You are going on a summer road trip and can take one person with you. It can be absolutely anyone. Tell me about the trip.

For this summer road trip, I would take Elon Musk. That way money would be no object and we could drive anywhere and everywhere. I’m sure it would be a little awkward at first, as neither of us knows one another, so there would be a period of learning about each other’s various quirks. But I’m sure we would be fast friends. Does Tesla make a convertible? I assume that’s what we would drive. I’m sure we would argue from time to time about our taste in music and what should be next up on Spotify, even though I already made the perfect summer playlist. But, whatever, Elon… You’re the one footing the bill so sure, let’s listen to the soundtrack of Wicked for the 37th time. Of course, by then, we’ve both learned to love it and are singing in perfect harmony along with “Defying Gravity” and “For Good.” Another potential conflict would be with my desire to really experience the road trip by staying at some roadside motel… a real mom & pop kind of place. The kind of place that started to get a bad reputation after Psycho was released all those years ago. But Elon, being the billionaire he is, would want to stay in a 5-star luxury hotel. Again… fine… you’re paying, so let’s stay in this 5-star joint. That turns out to be, reportedly, one of the most haunted places in America. Good job, Musk. But where things would really get great would be our ultimate goal of visiting every Major League ballpark and seeing a game at each one. Elon’s got pull and can get us some really great seats at each stadium. Not too shabby if you ask me.

3. What are some of your favourite summer memories?

As much as I hated high school, I’m really glad I made the decision to take P.E. during the summer between my 9th and 10th grade years. As a freshman I’d signed up for “zero period” which took place in the pre-dawn hours before school technically started. That was stupid. Summer school P.E. meant field trips to parks, swimming pools, bowling alleys, Putt-Putt, and swimming pools. Yeah… we went swimming a lot. Even the downside, half a summer of Health class, wasn’t that bad because the P.E. teacher that was saddled with all day Health was just as bummed about it as we were. He basically assigned us a cakewalk research paper and showed us movies the rest of the time. I’d call that my runner up for favorite summer. In first place is the year that I was a summer resident advisor for Bluefield College. It was the summer before my “super” senior year (i.e. 5th year). There were only a handful of students on campus, so the job was super easy. Barely an inconvenience. I had a pretty close-knit group of friends that summer and the five of us were all the time hanging out. We would watch movies and play GameCube and take turns fixing each other dinner. I’d love to relive that summer, it was so fun.

All right… those are my answers, for better or worse. I think they’re for better, actually. I’m shooting for the moon on this one. Wish me luck, kids.