Bloganuary the Tenth

Welcome back to Bloganuary, the daily encouragement from WordPress for bloggers to post something each day. If you want to participate in Bloganuary, just click here! Today’s prompt asks the question: What are 5 things you’re grateful for today?

I know I should call this a great reminder that life doesn’t suck 100% of the time. That no matter how much I may hate my current circumstances or how depressed I may be these days, I still have things to be grateful for, right? I should take the time to figure out what those things are. I should probably even try to make a list that contains more than five things for which I’m grateful, right?

Here’s the thing… When I say I hate my current circumstances, I mean that in so many more ways than just one. And when I say I’m depressed I say that not because I’ve been to a psychiatrist who has actually diagnosed me with depression. I say that as someone who works in the field of mental health and can recognize, in myself, the symptoms that often accompany depression. And I’m fully aware that depression can look like different things for different people. For me, this is what it is…

I barely want to move when I wake up in the morning. In fact, if I thought I could get away with not going to work because I absolutely need the paycheck for the most basic of necessities, I would turn off my alarm and then turn back over, maybe even covering my entire head with my comforter because I just don’t want to face the day. But I face it because of those basic necessities that must be met. I deal with people who treat me like crap from the time I leave my apartment to the time I return in the late afternoon or early evening. I bottle up all of the anger that I feel toward individuals I interact with in the community and with society in general. Some of that explodes in a torrent of obscenities while I’m driving alone and I feel that it’s safe to release some road rage. Some of it remains bottled up until I get home and find myself in tears for no apparent reason.

But you want me to think of five simple things that I am grateful for today…

  1. I get to come home to my one-bedroom apartment at the end of my day and I don’t have to deal with anyone.
  2. I have a full box of Frosted Flakes and a mostly full carton of milk.
  3. I have this blog that I can post my thoughts to on a daily basis.
  4. Back to the Future is still a thing and is still the greatest movie ever made.
  5. So much ibuprofen.

I get it… I know it’s important to take stock of the blessings in our lives. I know that life isn’t all bad. It never has been and it never will be. And I’m grateful that I realize this because it means that I have hope that things can and will get better. I mean… not on a global scale… humanity is basically screwed. But, for myself, I know things can and will improve. And I’m looking forward to the day that I can genuinely report to this blog and its readers that, yes, it got better.

2 thoughts on “Bloganuary the Tenth

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