Welcome to Rewatching Buffy, the part of the blog where I rewatch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Each Tuesday evening, you’re invited to join me as I attempt to rediscover what made me love this show 22 years ago.

Smashed

• Remember when things seemed so happy… when everyone was singing and dancing?
• Remember way back in Season 3 when Amy turned herself into a rat and Willow still hasn’t been able to turn her back to normal?
• In a dark alley, Buffy comes across a frightened couple being attacked by a couple of… normal guys.
• It’s a mugging… not vampires.
• Spike swoops in to help and fires off his chip when he punches one of the criminals.
• He’s still insisting that they hash things out in regards to their, now, two kisses.
• Willow pulls Amy the rat out of her cage and is talking to her about being with someone who will eventually leave for no good reason.
• No, Will, Tara left for very good reason.
• You’re obsessed with using magic to do, literally, everything.
• Anyway, Willow then figures out that she’s powerful enough now to de-rat Amy, returning her to human form.
• Amy’s response is to scream.
• As one does after being a rat for three years.
• In a museum, Andrew is pulling a Mission: Impossible to rob an exhibit.
• He really doesn’t need to do that… it’s a museum in Sunnydale.
• Jonathan points out that the guard is a guy named Rusty.
• Probably offensive to museum guards everywhere named Rusty.
• Rusty catches them after they’ve stolen a large diamond.
• So they use a freeze ray on him. And it actually freezes him.
• But it also backfires and the gun freezes to Jonathan’s hand.
• Amy’s unaware of how much time has passed since she turned herself into a rat.
• She thinks it’s still senior year.
• If it were me, I’d be pissed. Willow hasn’t bothered turning Amy back to normal in all this time? Jerk.
• Buffy comes home and is pretty close to confessing her Spike make out sessions to Willow, but then Amy comes back in.
• The interruption gives Buffy the out, so she doesn’t have to talk about the hard stuff.
• Buffy sees a report about the frozen guard on the news then heads to the museum to investigate.
• So does Spike… coincidence?
• Buffy apologizes for the most recent kiss… she was depressed and vulnerable after Giles left.
• Their argument becomes heated… Buffy punches Spike, Spike punches Buffy…
• But there’s no pain.
• He pretends that his brain chip fires, but it doesn’t.
• Buffy hits him again and calls him an “evil, disgusting thing” before walking away.
• So why doesn’t it hurt when Spike hits Buffy? It hurt when he hit that guy in the alley…
• Clearly, his chip still works. So what’s wrong with Buffy?
• But wait… Spike thinks he could hit Buffy with no pain because his chip is malfunctioning.
• So he goes on the hunt. Doesn’t really work out for him. Because clearly, his chip still works.
• The gang researches at the Magic Box to figure out what’s going on with the frozen guard.
• Willow decides to use magic on her computer to hack the police files, finding out about the stolen diamond.
• Meanwhile, the nerds are enjoying their diamond.
• Spike bursts in, wanting Warren to examine his chip.
• He threatens to break a Boba Fett action figure.
• Not sure what the big deal is. Boba Fett is a chump.
• Willow comes home to find Amy getting a little antsy. She wants to go out and do something fun.
• Warren examines the chip and figures out that it’s working fine.
• And then it clicks for Spike. Nothing wrong with him… something wrong with her.
• Tara spent the day hanging out with Dawn, who brings Tara back to the house in hopes of her running into Willow.
• It’s like The Parent Trap, except Dawn is a kleptomaniac and doesn’t have a twin.
• Willow and Amy are at The Bronze, playing pool with only their minds.
• Then they start magicking all kinds of things. And people.
• It gets out of hand…
• At the shop, Xander, Anya, and Buffy aren’t able to figure out what froze the guard, so talk turns to Willow and the magic getting out of hand.
• It was getting out of control when Tara was around. Now that Tara’s gone, there’s no one to keep her in check.
• Spike calls and invites Buffy to patrol… but he’s being creepy about it.
• Buffy eventually leaves the store and goes to patrol.
• And then there’s Spike… she hits him… he hits back.
• This time he doesn’t pretend the chip fires.
• “Don’t you get it? You came back wrong.”
• Then they really start fighting… a good back and forth.
• Buffy can’t accept that she might have come back a little bit different.
• They wind up fighting in an abandoned old house… their fight is tearing the place down.
• Trading punches and insults…
• Then Buffy attacks Spike’s mouth again.
• And as the house collapses around them, Buffy and Spike have sex.
• It’s a scene that I’m a little surprised they got away with on network TV in 2001.
• Body count: No one died!