The Whole Nine Yards
Directed by Jonathan Lynn
Netflix says… Just about every person in the neighborhood eventually wants someone dead, even a dull, panic-prone dentist named Oz Ozeransky (Matthew Perry), who is married to monstrous Sophie (Rosanna Arquette) and lives next door to mobster-on-the-run Jimmy “The Tulip” Tudeski (Bruce Willis). Will Sophie get Jimmy to off Oz for insurance money? Michael Clarke Duncan, Natasha Henstridge, Amanda Peet and Kevin Pollak co-star in this slick comedy.
- This movie was not even on my radar until about five years after it was released.
- I remember I was working as a night-time residential counselor and my supervisor recommended it to me.
- I can’t remember why he recommended this movie. Might have been my over identification with the character of Chandler on Friends.
- Does that automatically mean I like Matthew Perry in everything he’s in?
- I mean… Fools Rush In did come in at #93 on this list.
- But I’m pretty sure these are the only two movies that he’s been in that make my personal Top 100.
- Serving Sara was the in-flight entertainment coming back from my first trip to Brazil. I didn’t like that one.
- And this one got a sequel. The Whole Ten Yards is less than impressive.
- If you like dark comedies, then this is a good fit for you.
- Dr. Nicholas Oseransky (Matthew Perry) is a very unhappy dentist who is married to a horrible woman (Rosanna Arquette) who wants him dead.
- His new next door neighbor, Jimmy Jones (Bruce Willis), is actually a former hitman for an organized crime family in Chicago, Jimmy “The Tulip” Tudeski.
- Oz is wound a little tight and, when he quickly discovers who Jimmy really is, he kind of wants to pack up and move.
- But then he becomes friends with Jimmy. Kind of changes his opinion about the guy with a number of confirmed kills under his belt.
- Before Chuck was a TV show, Oz pretty much flashes, Intersect style, on Jimmy’s tulip tattoo.
- Mrs. Oz decides she wants Oz to go to Chicago and tell the mob where Jimmy is hiding out, so they can cash in on the price on his head.
- If he does, she’ll give him the divorce he so desperately wants. If not, she’ll make his life even more miserable.
- Here’s a good question… Why did Oz marry this woman in the first place?
- While in Chicago, Oz meets and subsequently falls in love with Jimmy’s wife, Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge).
- Franklin “Frankie Figs” Figueroa (Michael Clarke Duncan) accompanies Oz back to Montreal under the guise of wanting to cash in on the contract himself.
- Really, he’s in cahoots with Jimmy. There’s a whole plan to kill Janni (Kevin Pollak), the head of the gang, and cash in on millions of dollars that Jimmy can only get his hands on if he, Cynthia, and Janni all sign for it, or if the other two are dead.
- Hijinks ensue.
- It’s a lot like a heist movie. Except with more murder.
- And you’d think that would be incredibly disturbing, but it’s actually really funny.
- Like I said, dark comedy.
- If you don’t think murder of fictional characters can be funny, it’s not the movie for you.
- Mostly, it’s funny watching an uptight dentist who can never seem to say the right thing to the wrong people, and then seeing his reactions to their reactions.
If dark comedies aren’t your cup of tea, come back next week for something a little more literary. Number 83 on my list is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1. Not exactly lighthearted fare compared to the early Harry Potters, but it’s a good one.