Occasionally I’ll hit up a fast food drive through here and there. I know, they’re not good for me. That’s fine. But they sure are convenient. And the preservatives and whatnot that they inject into the food sure does make it tasty and probably slightly addictive. Anyway, this is not about the moral ramifications of going to Wendy’s. This is about an encounter I had at Wendy’s.

One day, I decided to drive through because, as it turns out, I was hungry. It happens when you skip lunch to go to the movies. By the time I walked out of the theater, I kind of felt like my stomach was ingesting itself. A gross exaggeration, I know, but I’m not gonna argue with you about how you’re feeling when you’re hungry. Maybe I was just hangry.

I thought it would be simple to just get a ten-piece order of chicken nuggets. Those are pretty easy to eat while you’re driving. I mean, as long as I didn’t want to go crazy with dipping sauce. I placed my order, paid at the first window, then drove up to the second window.

I was greeted by a guy who informed me that they only had seven nuggets ready to go. He asked if I’d like a couple of chicken tenders, so I wouldn’t have to wait for them to cook more nuggets. I said sure. Why not? I don’t have to wait and I get two tenders to replace three nuggets? This is a situation where I win.

He handed me my bag of food and I began to pull away. As I did, I distinctly heard him bragging to his coworkers, “I can sell anything to anybody!”

Whoa, dude. Calm down. You’re not exactly selling a ketchup popsicle to a woman wearing white gloves. You convinced me to take chicken in place of chicken. Congratulations.

You want to brag about you skills as a salesman? Convince me to replace nuggets with a side salad or a baked potato. You really didn’t have to twist my arm to take chicken that was already cooked rather than wait for chicken that wasn’t.

But, I guess, if that’s gonna make you feel good about yourself for the rest of your shift, then good for you.