The following tale is based on actual events which occurred a number of years ago…
There’s an old proverb that says, “He who hesitates is lost.” No one knows this more than me.
Because that’s just what I do. It’s my modus operandi. I hesitate. I think. Then I overthink. Then I miss out.
It’s the definition of insanity, doing something over and over again while expecting different results. But people do that sort of thing all the time, right? Maybe not everyone.
But here’s how it goes: I meet a girl. I spend some time getting to know this girl. This time period varies. Could be days. Could be months. But then, at some point, I decide she’s worth the risk of a broken heart. What I don’t realize is that I’m already too late.
More often than not, I’m too late due to the fact that I’ve managed to find myself in the legendary Friend Zone. The F.Z. can be a fun place to be, as long as one is perfectly content with simply being friends. Although, there’s nothing simple about being just friends.
Usually, when there’s a Friend Zone involved, there’s a good chance that one of the friends will have stronger feelings than the other one will. This happened to me. A couple times. Okay, more than a couple times. All right, it’s happened a lot. But that’s because I’m all the time hesitating. And I’m also a really good friend.
But there are other consequences to hesitation, aside from the Friend Zone. Namely, there’s the missed opportunity. While waiting around and getting to know a girl, a guy can end up letting her slip right through his fingers. It’s easy to let it happen, too.
Part of the reason I choose to hesitate more often than not is because I want to get to know someone before taking a leap of faith. For someone with the vast array of trust issues that I have, it is a significant leap of faith. But then I figure it out, she’s pretty awesome. Unfortunately, someone else has figured it out too.
Once again, he who hesitates is lost.
I dunno, I am all about the Friend Zone. I keep my barriers way way wayyyyy up, until I can tell if somebody is a jackass or not. That usually takes a few weeks/months. Only once that first assessment is done, am I ready to determine if there is a possibility for non-friendship. By which point I am too late.
Adulting is hard work.
So are you (have you already) going to write about how you worked through this to get Wifey?
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I’m sorry to say that this is no epic love story that ends with me telling the kids how I met their mother. Not yet, anyway.
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Epic love stories are overrated.
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That’s true. All the good ones end in tragedy. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
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Except for Shakespeare
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