The Single Guy vs. the Station Wagon

Volvo station wagons have an excellent reputation. More often than not, when someone thinks of a Volvo, it is easy to free associate the word safety right away. These cars have a history of being safe and, therefore, are seen as good family vehicles.

A few years back, Andy was forced to leave behind the Ford Escape he’d been driving for some time. In its wake, he made the grown up and responsible purchase of a Volvo station wagon. This, of course, left the man open to ridicule from all of his friends.

While Andy was, at the time, recently engaged, he did not yet have a family. It’s not often that you see an unmarried man with no children riding around in a wagon.

One weekend, I rode along with Mark for a brief trip to Richmond. On the way to Virginia’s capital, we discussed Andy’s choice of vehicle. He wasn’t coerced. No one twisted his arm. He freely chose to buy his new Volvo wagon of his own accord. In return, Mark and I decided to come up with some good jokes. It was determined that we needed to give Andy a hard time.

But then I actually drove the Volvo. Andy had asked me to take his new car on a quick trip to the grocery store while he finished setting up for a program at his church. I happily obliged. And, in my humble opinion, that new car handled amazingly. I was pleasantly shocked.

I returned to the church with groceries in hand and quickly got in touch with Mark. “Can’t mock it,” I said, “the thing drives like a dream.”

Of course, I said I wouldn’t be able to mock. But reality kicked in later when I got into the passenger seat as Andy began to drive to dinner. “So, did the mom jeans come standard with the car?” I asked.

Andy just laughed. He then said, “That’s good, keep ’em coming’!”

I confessed that Mark and I had worked on a bunch of jokes on the long drive to Richmond. The plan was to pepper him with jokes throughout the evening. Some others include, but are not limited to:

  • “If you decide to get paper instead of plastic, how many grocery bags can you fit in the back?”
  • “Are the other moms in the carpool jealous of the new car?”
  • “Do you have to pick up all the soccer equipment by yourself, or do you have some help?”
  • “Are we picking up the stuff for the PTA bake sale on this trip or later?”

That last one came from Mark and was a particular favorite of the night. To this day, I still have a hard time envisioning Andy in a station wagon, but cannot deny the appeal of the vehicle.Vacation - Station Wagon

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