The following account is based on actual events which occurred a number of years ago…
Okay, so I wasn’t really drunk. I was just under the influence of cold medication. But I wasn’t, technically, drunk.
Somewhere over the course of my Christmas break that year, I picked up a head cold. It wasn’t anything serious, but it was enough to cause the slightest misery when trying to do simple things like swallowing and breathing. So, one night, when I got home from that pesky pizza delivery gig, I decided it was time to take some NyQuil and go to bed. Then I remembered that I hadn’t eaten anything for dinner. If I skipped that meal, it would have meant two nights in a row without supper. I couldn’t have that.
After taking the cold medicine, I stayed up for a little more than an hour. During that time, I ate. I also made the mistake of getting on my computer and hanging around the Facebook. Now, not being in total control of all of one’s senses can lead to embarrassing moments when socially networking. Things could have turned out a lot worse for me than they did. But first, a little back story…
Remember the Girl in the White SUV? Well, forget about her. She’s history. Of course she’s history, these are all stories of the distant past. But she was already history at this point in time. But, being the kind of guy that I was (am), I didn’t exactly go out of my way to meet women. So when I did, it was usually because one had decided to become a customer at the bank where I worked. Not that I believed that this was an excellent way to meet women. But I wasn’t super great at putting myself out there. So that was pretty much all I had going for me.
Anyway, there had been a recent customer that caught my eye. Don’t worry, it didn’t turn into another White SUV situation. While I may not have thought of the White SUV deal as being an unhealthy obsession, there are others who may view it as such. And, yeah, I can see how it could be interpreted that way. Anyway, there was no obsession with this new customer. She worked as a hostess at a local restaurant. So we’ll just call her the Hostess, if that’s cool.
I wanted to avoid going down the same kind of road that I’d gone down with the Girl in the White SUV because, obviously, that really didn’t work out for me. There had been no notes, no letters, no random bouquets of flowers. This time, there was just conversation and smiles here and there. Nothing crazy or overly dramatic.
Now we’re back to the NyQuil night. I decided to look the Hostess up on Facebook. And there she was. My memory of that evening is fuzzy, thanks to that dose of cold medication. But I know for a fact that I sent a text message to Barney Stinson which said, “Which is less creepy, friending her on Facebook or asking her for coffee at the drive through?”
Barney had been trying to get me to Facebook the Hostess for a couple weeks by this point. I just felt uneasy about it. That being the case, his response said to try Facebook first, then go from there. Again, I have no actual memory of sending this friend request to the Hostess, but apparently it happened. When I woke up the next morning with nothing but foggy memories, I checked the Hostess’ page and saw that there was a pending friend request. From me.
From there, one of two things could have happened. She could have accepted me as a friend, then I could see where it would go from there. Or she could have stopped coming to my branch, like a certain someone on a White SUV once did. In that case, I would have frightened off yet another woman with that classic Single Guy charm. I would probably have to start taking that personally, too. Like there was something wrong with me. On the plus side, the Hostess had not declined the friend request. Yet.