I recently shaved off the beard that had covered half of my face for the better part of the last two years. It’s been three days since I got rid of the thing, and I still get a small surprise when I look into the mirror. As I adjust to the hairless face, I’ve discovered that losing the beard has advantages and disadvantages.

PROS

• Milk from my cereal can drip onto my chin and I’ll know about it right away.
• Small children don’t immediately distrust me because half of my face is hidden.
• My face is silky smooth for at least 15 minutes after I shave.
• The conditioning face lotion feels nice and kind of makes me smell like Christmas.
• I’m told I look younger.

CONS

• My face is cold. That feeling doesn’t seem to go away.
• Small children who’ve known me for the last two years no longer recognize me.
• I have to shave every day. It’s very irritating.
• Enduring the unobservant for several weeks finally noticing that I’ve shaved.
• I kind of feel like I’m 12 for at least 15 minutes after I shave.
• If I miss a spot, it’s glaringly obvious.
• That acne that I thought disappeared in my 20’s? It’s made a slight comeback. It’s just been hiding behind facial hair.
• Turns out the facial hair was also hiding the beginnings of a second chin.

Looks like the cons outweigh the pros. I’ll give you guys a vote, too. Obviously, you’re not looking at pictures of me with and without the beard. So you’ll just have to vote your conscience. Beard or no beard? The cons are telling me to grow it back. What say you?