I don’t got game. It’s not something that I’ve ever had. And when I say game, I’m talking about the don’t-hate-the-player-hate-the-game kind of game.Back in college, I would watch as roommates would flirt with girls almost effortlessly. They would use tactics that blew my mind. Tactics that, following logical conclusions, should have never worked, yet they did. And there were some times that I would try to mimic some of those tactics, and while they may have worked for my friends, I just ended up looking like a fool.
So after playing a few innings on the bench, I eventually just took myself out of the game. I think my problem is that I never fully understood the rules of the game. From what I could tell, men and women are playing two completely different games, but every now and then there’s some inter-league play and things seem to work out. But it doesn’t help when one can’t figure out the rules to either side of things.
One of those things that hinders me is the art of flirtation. I just don’t think I’m very good at it. Most of the time, when I’m around a girl I like, I forget how to use the English language properly. It becomes difficult to string together words into coherent phrases and sentences. And forget about complex thought. A few weird sounds that, in my mind, pass for words may escape my mouth, but then I have to go away.
But honestly, I’m okay not knowing how to play the game. Because, what’s the general feeling for those who play the game and play it well? Yeah, that’s what I thought. So I don’t know how to flirt. Big deal. And so what if I can’t pick up on the fact that a girl is flirting with me? That’s okay, too. While all you single people are out there playing the field, I’ll be over here warming the bench. Someone’s gotta do it. And, who knows, maybe a really cute girl will come and sit with me. It could happen!