Welcome to a series of stories that basically make up my autobiography. It’s not entirely thorough, but I’ll do the best I can with the memories locked away inside my head. Could be therapeutic for me. Could be humorous for you. Either way, enjoy…

Previously on Life Story… Mom dreamed that I would be the start of the Planet of the Apes. Here’s another story of life before I was born. I’m not exactly sure when I was due to be born, but I almost arrived early.

1980 was a Leap Year. That meant that February 29th came only a week prior to my actual birth. Funny thing though, Mom went into labor on Leap Day. Turns out it was a false labor. But the whole day, she was scared that I would be born on the 29th. A creepy, little orangutan who would have a birthday only once every four years.

I don’t see what the big deal is. So I would only have a real birthday once every four years. I wouldn’t be as spoiled as those kids who have birthdays every year. And then, every February 29th, think of how special that day would be. You could have four years’ worth of birthday parties all at once. Crazy fun.

The next time labor pains hit, it was the real deal. The evening of March 5th was when it all began. And again, it was all wrong for Mom. Apparently, all week long, the television had been advertising a very special Eight Is Enough. I guess one of the main characters was supposed to have some kind of encounter with Vietnam or something. I don’t know, I’ve never seen it.

This was before the DVR. This was even before every home had a VCR attached to every TV. So it’s not as if she could hit record then hop in the car and go to the hospital. She had to miss it. One of her favorite shows with a “very special” episode. And her firstborn child deprived her of that.

And thus, I began life with my mother resenting me for causing her to miss her program. Would it be a sign of things to come? Only time would tell.