Welcome back to Bloganuary, the daily encouragement from WordPress for bloggers to post something each day. If you want to participate in Bloganuary, just click here! Today’s prompt asks: What book is next on your reading list?

I have an entire bookshelf devoted to books I need to read. These are books that I have purchased with real money yet I have not gotten around to reading them. And I keep on buying new books…

In fact, I just bought a book that should be arriving from Amazon this Friday called The Midnight Library, which was recently suggested to me by a friend who thought I might enjoy it. Based on his description, it certainly sounds intriguing, so I’ll be reading that once I get it. Probably.

See… the problem with so many books that I have plans to read is that I have this tendency to put things off. And I know I’m starting to sound like a broken record on here with the mentions of recent bouts with depression which has only caused me to feel more and more like doing nothing that requires extra thought or energy beyond what’s necessary for my work day. When I get back home and have my own time… I’m little more than a lump trying to blend into my sofa.

I set a goal for myself to read 20 books last year. I read 22 by August… and then I didn’t pick up another book for the rest of the year. This year I decided to read 25… and I’m, apparently, already a book behind the schedule according to the Goodreads. Ugh…

I’m currently reading I Hate You–Don’t Leave Me, one of those occasional non-fiction books I pick up. This was at the recommendation of my cousin’s husband after he patiently listened to my difficulties working with an individual with Borderline Personality Disorder. So far, the book is spot on in describing what I’ve experienced. I’m interested to read the entire thing… but I’m also not motivated.

Deep down, I love to read. There are so many books that I want to read. But I’m just not motivated right now… I wish I knew how to get out of this haze. Counseling would be great if I could get someone local to actually respond when I attempt to find a therapist. Medication? I’ll try it if it’s necessary… I’m sure it could help if I really need it. Gotta get someone to see me first. Ugh…