The first flakes of snow drifted down from a slate gray December sky as Noel walked down the bustling city street, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of her charcoal wool coat. All around, the sights and sounds of the holidays assaulted her senses – twinkling lights strung between lampposts, the scent of roasting chestnuts from a pushcart on the corner, silver bells ringing as donation-seekers ho-ho-ho’ed, trying to entice passersby to part with their spare change in the spirit of the season.

But Noel felt immune to the festive gaiety surrounding her, cocooned in her own world of wistful longing and quiet despair. Limerence. The word echoed in her head as her boots crunched through the dusting of white powder on the sidewalk. She had come across it recently and instantly felt a pang of recognition. An involuntary state of mind resulting from a romantic attraction to another person, characterized by obsessive thoughts, fantasies, and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one’s feelings reciprocated. It perfectly encapsulated the tempest that had been raging in Noel’s heart for longer than she cared to admit.

As snowflakes collected on her lashes, Noel’s thoughts drifted to Luke, as they so often did these days. His boyish smile, the dimple in his left cheek, the way his hazel eyes danced when he laughed at one of his own jokes. The easy way they could talk for hours about everything and nothing. The electric current she felt when their hands accidentally brushed against each other. In Luke, she felt she had found a kindred spirit, someone who understood her in a way no one else could. He had quickly become her closest confidant and dearest friend. But as time went on, Noel found herself wanting more. Craving more.

What had started as a tiny ember of attraction had grown into a roaring blaze over the past year, consuming Noel’s every waking thought. Luke was the first thing on her mind when she awoke each morning and the last before she drifted off to sleep each night. She analyzed his every word and gesture, searching for a shred of evidence that he might feel the same way. A lingering glance, a cryptic comment, a flirtatious touch – she scrutinized it all, desperate for a sign. But Luke remained infuriatingly opaque, treating her with the same relaxed affection he always had, never crossing the line from friendship into something more.

Noel sighed, her breath clouding in the frigid air. She knew she should talk to Luke, lay her cards on the table, and confess her feelings once and for all. But the thought of jeopardizing their friendship, of losing him completely, filled her with terror. If he didn’t feel the same way, if he rejected her, Noel knew it would shatter her already fragile heart into a million jagged pieces. So she stayed silent, the secret burning inside her, fantasizing about what could be but never daring to make it a reality.

Lost in her melancholy musings, Noel hadn’t realized her feet had carried her to the steps of Luke’s brownstone. She stared up at the cheerful Christmas wreath adorning his glossy black door, the welcoming golden glow of the windows. What was she doing here? They had plans to exchange gifts tomorrow evening, an annual tradition. There was no reason for-

Suddenly, the door swung open and there he was. Snowflakes sparkled in Luke’s chestnut hair, his nose and cheeks reddened from the cold. At the sight of Noel, his face broke into a delighted grin and Noel felt her traitorous heart stutter.

“Well this is a nice surprise!” he exclaimed. “I was just about to text you. Want to come in for some hot cocoa? I have mini marshmallows,” he added with an enticing waggle of his brows.

Noel knew she should say no, make an excuse, protect her already bruised and battered heart. But as she gazed into Luke’s warm hazel eyes, she felt herself nod. “That sounds perfect,” she said softly, managing a small smile. As she followed him into the cozy foyer, Noel vowed that this would be the last Christmas she spent pining for someone she couldn’t have. She had to move on, find a way to let go of this limerence that had taken hold of her for so long. It would be hard and it would hurt, but it was time. No matter how much her heart might shatter in the process.

The door shut behind them with a muffled thud, ensconcing them in the warm cocoon of the house as the snow continued to blanket the world outside in white – pure, unblemished, and full of promise. Everything Christmas was supposed to be. Everything Noel feared she would never have.