Welcome to Movie Mondays, a weekly blog series that takes you on a cinematic odyssey through the world of film! Each week, we’ll dive into a list of my 100 least favorite movies, exploring what makes them fall short and discussing the lessons we can learn from their missteps. Remember that these low-ranking films are only that way based on my personal opinion. Something I hate may be something you love and no offense is intended. Wherever these movies fall for you, I invite you to grab some popcorn and join in on the debate over these films’ merits!

Don’t Tell Her It’s Me

1990

Directed by Malcolm Mowbray

Hey there, film fanatics! Today, we’re diving into the 1990 romantic comedy Don’t Tell Her It’s Me (also known as The Boyfriend School), a movie that, despite its promising cast, manages to fall flatter than a pancake run over by Steve Guttenberg’s motorcycle.

Directed by Malcolm Mowbray and based on Sarah Bird’s novel The Boyfriend School, this cinematic misadventure follows Gus Kubicek (Guttenberg), a cartoonist who’s battling both Hodgkin’s disease and a severe case of the post-breakup blues. Enter Lizzie Potts (Shelley Long), Gus’s meddlesome romance novelist sister, who decides to give her brother a makeover to help him land a new lady. Apparently, nothing says “I love you” like completely changing who you are to impress someone.

When Gus sets his sights on Emily Pear (Jami Gertz), he transforms into Lobo Marunga, a leather-clad biker from New Zealand. Because if there’s one thing women love, it’s being lied to by a man pretending to be someone he’s not. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t end well.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a good romantic comedy. But Don’t Tell Her It’s Me is about as romantic as a root canal and as funny as a tax audit. Steve Guttenberg, who had already subjected us to four Police Academy movies by this point, seems to be phoning it in harder than a telemarketer with a quota to meet. Even the usually delightful Jami Gertz can’t save this sinking ship.

The plot is predictable, the jokes fall flat, and the chemistry between the leads is about as sizzling as a wet firecracker. I found myself longing for the subtle wit and charm of a Police Academy sequel, and that’s saying something.

In the end, Don’t Tell Her It’s Me is a forgettable comedy that wastes its talented cast on a subpar script and uninspired direction. If you’re a die-hard Steve Guttenberg fan or have a soft spot for mediocre ’90s rom-coms, you might find something to enjoy here. But for the rest of us, it’s a movie that’s best left on the shelf.

So, fellow film buffs, what did you think of Don’t Tell Her It’s Me? Did you find it as underwhelming as I did, or am I being too harsh on poor Guttenberg? Let me know in the comments below, and stay tuned for more reviews of movies that make me question my life choices!