Welcome to Movie Mondays, a weekly blog series that takes you on a cinematic odyssey through the world of film! Each week, we’ll dive into a list of my 100 least favorite movies, exploring what makes them fall short and discussing the lessons we can learn from their missteps. Remember that these low-ranking films are only that way based on my personal opinion. Something I hate may be something you love and no offense is intended. Wherever these movies fall for you, I invite you to grab some popcorn and join in on the debate over these films’ merits!

3 Ninjas

1992

Directed by Jon Turteltaub

Ah, the early 90s – a time when Hollywood thought that slapping together a flimsy plot, some cute kids, and a bunch of martial arts action was a surefire recipe for box office gold. Enter 3 Ninjas, a 1992 “comedy” directed by Jon Turteltaub that somehow managed to spawn three sequels despite being a prime example of why I prefer The Karate Kid when it comes to kid-friendly martial arts flicks.

The plot, if you can call it that, revolves around three brothers – Samuel, Jeffrey, and Michael – who spend their summers learning ninjutsu from their Japanese grandfather, Mori Tanaka (Victor Wong). Mori gives them cool ninja names like Rocky, Colt, and Tum-Tum because apparently, their personalities can be summed up by a boxer, a gun, and a hungry stomach. Meanwhile, their dad (Alan McRae) is an FBI agent trying to catch a criminal mastermind named Hugo Snyder (Rand Kingsley), who (surprise, surprise) is Mori’s old business partner.

Cue the kidnapping attempt by Snyder’s surfer nephew Fester (Patrick Labyorteaux) and his goons, which leads to the boys using their sweet ninja skills to fight back with household items. They eventually get captured anyway, but don’t worry – Grandpa Mori infiltrates Snyder’s ship, and after a thrilling final battle involving jelly beans (yes, really), the bad guys are arrested, and everyone goes out for pizza. Oh, and there’s a subplot about the boys challenging some bullies to a basketball game and fighting them to get their bikes back, because why not?

Now, I’ll admit that the young cast – Michael Treanor, Max Elliott Slade, and Chad Power – do their best with what they’re given, and Victor Wong brings some much-needed gravitas as Grandpa Mori. But even their efforts can’t save this mess of a movie from its cringe-worthy dialogue, predictable plot, and lackluster action scenes.

Director Jon Turteltaub, who would go on to helm the National Treasure films, seems to struggle with finding the right tone for 3 Ninjas. Is it a comedy? An adventure? A family drama? Who knows? The film’s message about using martial arts for defense rather than aggression is admirable, but it’s buried beneath a pile of clichés and questionable parenting decisions (letting your kids fight dangerous criminals is totally cool, right?).

In the end, 3 Ninjas is a prime example of why I’ll always choose The Karate Kid over its lesser imitators. While the film was a financial success, grossing $29 million on a $2.5 million budget, its legacy is mostly as a campy cult classic that serves as a reminder of the era’s less-than-stellar family entertainment. But hey, if you’re in the mood for some nostalgic 90s cheese and don’t mind a few eye rolls along the way, 3 Ninjas might be worth a watch – just don’t expect anything groundbreaking.

So, dear readers, what are your thoughts on 3 Ninjas? Did you grow up loving this film, or do you share my preference for The Karate Kid? Let me know in the comments below, and stay tuned for more reviews of movies that make me question my life choices!