I started a new job today.

I was going to end that first sentence with an exclamation point but I find I’m too tired at the moment to be excited about it. That doesn’t mean my first day was a bad day. It was a very good day. It was just a very overwhelming day. I’m so far beyond whelmed.

I’m sure that things will be great in a few weeks when I’ve really learned the ins and outs of what the frak is going on around that joint. In the meantime, the powers that be have created a culture that tells me not to get too bogged down in the details on day one. Feels pretty good.

Prior to arriving for my first day, I received that standard HR email that we all get telling us when to arrive and what to bring. You know… driver’s license, social security card, passport, first-born youngling. The one that causes me to scratch my head these days is the voided check so they can set up direct deposit.

It’s 2022. Do businesses really still require a voided check to set up their employees’ direct deposit? Can’t I just fill out a form with my bank information? I mean, I can Venmo my mother $20 at the drop of a hat. I didn’t get a voided check from her to be able to move money from my bank to her credit union.

Just seems like one of those things that modern technology should be taking care of for us. I mean… I can’t even remember the last time I wrote an actual check to anyone. I was lucky to even find where my checks were.

Anyway… Here are some added perks to the new job:

• I don’t have to pay to park anymore… See, my new job pays for my monthly parking fee in the parking garage that I’ve already been paying to use in the three years since I moved to my current apartment.
• Because my apartment is so close, I can walk to work.
• I have an office! With a desk! I mean, sure, I’ll be sharing that office with a co-worker that won’t start until next week. But that’ll be fine. I’ve already been told that she is a very funny individual but not as funny as me. We should get along swimmingly. As long as she’s okay with me randomly bursting into Disney songs from time to time.
• When I asked if I could decorate the office with LEGO, the question received a laugh followed quickly by an “of course!” DeLorean and Central Perk are on their way to the office this week.

There are some other things I need for my office, too. I’m in need of a very specific movie poster to put on the wall. I also want to get one of those small fans that you can clip onto the edge of the desk. And maybe one of those Nerf basketball hoops to hang on the wall above the trash can. Yeah… I’m gonna have a grown-up office.