Welcome to Rewatching Buffy, the part of the blog where I rewatch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Each Tuesday evening, you’re invited to join me as I attempt to rediscover what made me love this show 22 years ago.

Dead Things

• Buffy is visiting Spike’s crypt.
• …For a workout session.
• And then they have a conversation.
• Like a real couple.
• The nerds are hiding out at Andrew’s parents’ basement.
• Their newest techno-magical gadget is referred to as a cerebral dampener.
• According to Warren, it will turn any woman they desire into their willing sex slave.
• Good… they’ve created a date rape marble.
• You know, at least when Buffy has to fight demons, they’re evil because they have no soul.
• What’s these dorks’ excuses?
• Buffy asks Tara to come and visit her at work.
• Yeah, she’s still at the Doublemeat Palace.
• Buffy wants help to figure out why she came back different.
• Why is Spike able to hurt her?
• Jonathan and Andrew watch from the surveillance van while Warren looks for women inside a bar.
• And then he spots his ex, Katrina.
• Last we saw her, she was nearly killed by Warren’s robot.
• Of course, she tells Warren to drop dead.
• But he’s got his fancy date rape orb, so she begins to refer to him as “master.”
• I’d like to see Buffy rip these guys’ spines out.
• They have her dress in a French maid’s outfit and serve them champagne.
• But she does nothing but stand there and stare into nothingness until they give her an order.
• Warren leads her off for some private time.
• But then the spell wears off.
• The orb is out of juice…
• When Katrina points out that what they’re doing is rape, Jonathan and Andrew have a freak out moment.
• She tries to get away, but Warren hits her over the head with a bottle.
• He demands that Andrew recharge the dampener, but Andrew takes a closer look and sees that she’s dead.
• Seriously, Buffy needs to wear Warren’s ribcage as a hat.
• Well, boys, you wanted to be villains… here you are.
• Warren decides the best way to take care of this is to arrange it so Buffy thinks she killed Katrina.
• Buffy hangs out with her crew at The Bronze.
• While they dance, she goes upstairs and gets pretty inappropriate with Spike.
• The next day, Willow bumps into Tara as she’s leaving the Magic Box.
• First healthy conversation between those two in a long time.
• Later, while Buffy’s on patrol, she’s tempted to go to Spike’s again.
• She lingers outside his door for a moment, and he can sense she’s there.
• But she leaves before he opens the door.
• Honestly, I think this is the most CW this show has ever been.
• Buffy gets distracted by hearing Katrina scream.
• Then some weird things really start up… like when the nerds pulled the time shift thing.
• She and Spike fight some demons… but they might be hallucinations.
• And that’s what leads Buffy to think she accidentally killed Katrina.
• I can’t tell if Buffy and Spike really killed three hooded demons or not. I’ll count them just in case.
• Buffy is wracked with guilt and Spike hurries her away.
• Warren seems pretty proud of himself… Jonathan is feeling guilty…
• Buffy’s dreams are restless, and she wakes in the middle of the night to tell Dawn goodbye.
• She’s planning to turn herself in.
• When Buffy says she’s sorry, Dawn says she really isn’t… she’s never home, she doesn’t want to be there…
• Spike tries to stop Buffy outside the police station.
• He claims he took care of the body… but then they hear a couple of officers talking about a body that washed up at the river’s edge near the cemetery.
• Bollocks.
• Spike still tries to stop Buffy, telling her again that he loves her.
• She still can’t believe it’s possible for him to love her.
• They start fighting… and Buffy really beats the crap out of him.
• Meanwhile… she’s yelling at him about how he’s dead inside… there’s nothing good about him…
• But I think it’s safe to say she’s telling herself these things.
• She leaves Spike on the ground and goes inside the station.
• Before she can confess to the police, she hears the sergeant on the phone as they’ve identified the body as Katrina.
• She recognizes the name as Warren’s ex-girlfriend.
• At the Magic Box, they identify the demons that Buffy and Spike fought.
• Apparently, when they enter our dimension, they cause a localized temporal disturbance.
• Buffy knows that Warren and the others are somehow connected, but can’t prove it yet.
• Tara lets Buffy know that she’s fine.
• Bringing her back may have slightly altered her on a molecular level, just enough to mess with the sensors in Spike’s brain chip.
• But hearing that she didn’t come back wrong really upsets her…
• Because if something isn’t wrong, why would she continually allow Spike to do these things to her…?
• Tara understands what Buffy is saying… and Buffy admits that it’s the only time she actually feels something.
• Tara promises that she won’t tell anyone.
• Buffy wants so desperately for Tara to tell her that she’s wrong.
• It’s kind of heartbreaking to see Buffy like this… she’s broken…
• Body count: Humans – 1; Hooded demons – 3